CROCKBABY

Our fetus can take down your fetus

2011-10-14T10:15:00.001-07:00

Proud of my big girl, although scared if I'll be able to push her out in 3-4 months.

24 weeks old.

I don't need to worry about intrauterine growth restriction with her.

20 Week Ultrasound Results

2011-09-16T20:18:00.000-07:00

We are having a baby girl! A mother always knows. Lydia Rae, weighs approximately 11 ounces, and has all the appropriate body parts. Apparently, she looks great! Our estimated due date remains January 31st. Her heartbeat is still strong, the heart anatomy looks solid, her brain looks good (the doctor said he predicts an IQ of 215), everything looks as it should. Also, my first and second trimester integrated prenatal screening results have come back and are within normal limits (Lydia is low risk for down syndrome and a few other conditions). She was in the breech position on the ultrasound, but of course this does not matter in the slightest right now – fetuses are continually changing positions at this stage of pregnancy. She was sucking her hand and appeared to be sleeping for most of the ultrasound. She looks adorable. We’ll post some pictures when I get James to scan them. (I’m sick with food poisoning at the moment and can’t move from the couch.) Dorian, who has been saying he wants a sister all along, of course said, "But I want a brother" when the ultrasound tech said it was a girl. Kids, eh? I think he's happy about it now and has been making reference to her by name.

We did have a little scare during our appointment though. The ultrasound technician performed the approximately 20 minute ultrasound, taking all the measurements, clicking away on her computer, making comments like “That looks good,” “Perfect,” etc, etc, etc. When she finished, she told us she would go print us some pictures to take home and then we could go. She never returned. We were waiting approximately 15 minutes when a doctor (whom I recognize from the hospital I work at) came in. He said he had reviewed the images from another computer and that he just needed to check a few things. James and I exchanged a look and started to worry. He basically went through all the anatomy again and delved further into the heart and brain, which was actually pretty cool to see. He talked about this valve and that valve and the blood flow, and it was awesome (he also knew I was a postpartum nurse at his hospital so I think he went into more detail for my benefit). He confirmed it is definitely a baby girl and pointed out her female anatomy (and not just the lack of a penis, which sometimes results in parents finding out their supposed baby girl is actually a boy when the baby is born). Then, at the very end, he proceeded to tell me I had a low-lying placenta. Of course, my immediate thought was, “Oh no, I have placenta previa!” (For those of you who need a refresher, the placenta is an organ that connects the fetus - via the umbilical cord- to the uterine wall to allow nutrient uptake, waste elimination, and gas exchange via the mother's blood supply. Placenta previa is when the placenta covers the cervix, which is the opening of the uterus - where the baby eventually needs to exit.) He assured me my placenta is not currently covering any part of the cervix. It is approximately 1.5 centimeters from the cervix, and they like it to be at least 2cm away. Usually the placenta implants on the upper part of the uterus, where the nutrient supply is the most dense. It's possible I have scarring in my uterus from the D&C procedure I had after my miscarriage, hence, the lower-uterine attachment instead. But who knows? Sometimes, these things just happen. I don't have any of the other risk factors for placenta previa. He told me, at this point, I do not have an increased risk of preterm birth and do not have to modify any of my activity. I do have to go in for a follow-up ultrasound in 6 weeks. If the placenta is still low-lying (or worse, covering the cervix), then at that point, they will continue to monitor me via ultrasound every couple weeks and possibly restrict my activity a bit. He told me that 9 times out of 10, a low-lying placenta resolves on its own and tends to move upward in the uterus as the uterus grows. He said my placenta looked nice and big, and the cord to the baby looked how it should, so he wasn’t too concerned. I have a few friends who told me they too, had a low-lying placenta at their 20 week ultrasound, and the issue resolved itself later for them.

The doctor told me if the issue does not resolve itself (even if it just remains low-lying, and does not develop into placenta previa), I will most likely have to have a c-section at the end, something I obviously don’t want but of course, would accept in this case. There is no way I would risk Lydia’s life or my life for the sake of having a vaginal birth. A c-section would not be a huge deal. It would be a huge deal if this developed into placenta previa, however, because then you are at risk for heavy bleeding and preterm birth and usually have to restrict your activity (and I have a very active job and am hoping to work up until I go into labor). Sometimes, you even have to go on bedrest or be admitted to an antepartum unit. However, as the doctor said, chances are less than 10% in my case, and I am just taking this as yet another experience I can use to learn more about prenatal health and conditions and become a better nurse! If anyone else would care to share their experiences with a low-lying placenta or placenta previa, I’d love to hear about them. Thanks!

Halfway

2011-09-06T10:14:00.000-07:00

Well, this pregnancy is certainly a challenging one. I'm obviously not on bed rest, or throwing up all the time, or diabetic, or anything that would make it be officially classified as high-risk...but it's in a completely different league to my pregnancy with Dorian. I am just so tired all the time, even now after I have slept and relaxed for 5 days (the boys were away at a music festival). And I just can't sleep. Between my massive bump and waking up to pee every hour and at every little noise and having my back pain return with a vengeance and the occasional headaches and bouts of nausea (in the second trimester?!!!), I'm not the happy, glowing pregnant lady I had hoped to be again. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy enough, of course, but I just don't feel entirely well, you know what I mean? I think James is probably relieved because my pregnancy with Dorian was SO easy that I talked of becoming a surrogate mother someday...I absolutely adored being pregnant! Not so much now. Still, it's a good thing. I take every experience I can and try to file it away permanently in my brain so I can empathize with my patients even more. If there is one thing I absolutely love, it's being able to relate to my patients and feel like I'm the best possible nurse I can be...well, this pregnancy is surely helping me in that regard.

I am 19 weeks pregnant now and we have our 20 week ultrasound on Wednesday, September 14th. We can't wait to check out baby's anatomy...or more importantly (as my mom keeps reminding me), the sex. It seems to be this is all anyone is interested in these days. "Do you know the sex? When do you find out the sex? Is it a girl or a boy? What do you think it is?" We get hit with all these questions before anyone asks me how I feel, or how Dorian is reacting to the pregnancy, or anything else. It's all about the sex. I guess that's true in most aspects of life. Oh wait, that's the other sex. ;) I feel the same, to be honest. I just want to know what the baby's name is (we have a girl name picked out but no boy name yet), what to tell Dorian, etc. It's going to be easier and seem more real when we can stop calling the baby "it" and start calling it "her." (I'm still 99% convinced it's a girl.) I know SO many people who are pregnant right now and we are all due within 6 weeks of each other and so far, it's all girls. When Dorian was born, it was all boys. My new moms' group was all baby boys. Our Gymboree play group was all baby boys. I do believe this to be a real phenomenon and not just some crazy coincidence...although I have no idea why, and James will totally be rolling his eyes when he reads this.

Dorian asks about the baby all the time and he'll say things like "Does the baby like that sandwich, mama?" or "The baby is making me go pee pee!" (because I always say this). He talks, often, about how he is going to feed the baby and how he wants the baby to sleep in the bottom bunk bed in his room. He asks constant questions about the baby, and has started talking to the baby. He definitely seems to have made a connection already...and that alone makes all this "suffering" worth it!

16 weeks preggers

2011-08-18T19:56:00.000-07:00

Completely Different Pregnancy

2011-08-18T18:13:00.000-07:00

Pregnancy + 3 year old + 32 hours/week (on average) working as a nurse sure takes it out of you. I am exhausted again. At this point in my first pregnancy, I was commuting to San Francisco and working 24 hours a week, taking 3 nursing prerequisite courses, including 2 of them with labs, walking 5 miles a day 6-7 days a week, my house was spanking clean and I was positively g-l-o-w-i-n-g. This time around, I'm lucky if I walk twice a month and housecleaning? Forget it. What started to appear as that infamous second trimester glow 4 weeks ago has disappeared again and I'm just tired, tired, tired. And massive. And already waddling. And my skin is crazy broken out. And my back pain sucks. And the round ligament pain can be brutal. And I get these killer headaches sometimes. And I crave salt AND sugar all the time. And before anyone asks, I am technically fine and my MD is not concerned at all...there are no real health issues or danger signs...it's just that this pregnancy is soooooooooo different. Girl? Or am I just old?

Happy Family

2011-08-16T12:20:00.001-07:00

Vacation Time

2011-08-12T00:12:00.000-07:00

We are going camping at the Russian River tomorrow with some friends. We will return Monday, then I'm off to work in the afternoon. Will try to post on Tuesday, but more likely Wednesday as I work Tuesday as well. Busy, busy, busy around here! Thank goodness I'm getting my energy back. Stay tuned for updates, pictures, and yes, maybe even one of the promised belly shots...it will have been a month. I look about 6 months pregnant. Sigh!!!

15 Weeks

2011-08-09T19:19:00.000-07:00

More than 1/3rd of the way done! We've had a busy week...between first (and continued) movement felt, round ligament pain starting (seriously?!), working at the hospital 7 out of 8 days, my mom retiring after a 37 year career in nursing and nurse management, James finishing his first 8 week series of preschool music classes, and our 15 week ultrasound, we are all beat. And excited. We heard the baby's heartbeat with the Doppler yesterday and it was on the fast side - about 168 beats per minute. The OB said if we are going off heartrate, then it's a girl. I've also had more dreams about having a baby girl. Pretty sure this baby is of the female variety...but would be equally happy and excited about another little boy. Not sure Dorian would though. He's started telling people he's having a baby sister. Apparently, he told the childcare worker at the YMCA that he is "so happy because he is going to have a little sister." He talks about having a baby sister a lot now. I really hope he's not too disappointed if it turns out to be a boy!

First Movement Already!

2011-08-01T06:44:00.000-07:00

I know some people will say it's not possible, but I felt my baby move last night. According to the American Pregnancy Association, "There is a broad range of when the first detection of movement can be felt, ranging from 13-25 weeks" and "First-time moms may not feel these movements as early as second-time moms." I can feel exactly where my uterus is...and know where the baby is lying due to my ultrasound last week...I felt a bunch of fluttering around right in the spot where the baby is and it felt exactly like the movement I used to feel in the beginning (around 20 weeks or so) with Dorian. If I touched the spot firmly (as they did with the ultrasound wand to get the baby to move), I felt movement in response to the touch. I am just about 14 weeks but this is my second child, I'm a small person, and I'm going to play the registered nurse (in Women & Infants!) card here...I know what I felt. Don't tell me it's just gas. I'm curious though...has anyone else felt it this early? I was shocked when I tuned in to it. The baby is approximately 3.5 inches long and weighs between 1-2 ounces. Incredible.

Little Girl?

2011-07-28T12:07:00.000-07:00

I dreamed I had a little girl last night. Coupled with my hunch, and the fact this pregnancy has been like night and day from my pregnancy with Dorian, I wonder. I also had a dream Dorian was a boy before we found out the sex. Is it too early to start buying striped woolen tights in jewel tones, sundresses (in non-pink colors), baby bohemian tops, and leather mary janes with flowers sewn on? As previously mentioned, I really do not mind either way, but it would be so fun to shop for a girl. By the way, I swear I'm not as shallow as I've been sounding in my past few posts. There's nothing wrong with a woman liking fashion, as long as she has other interests too, right? Or maybe I am that shallow. Oh well, I'll embrace it.

12 Week Bump Comparison

2011-07-28T11:46:00.000-07:00

12 weeks pregnant with Dorian

12 weeks pregnant with Crockbaby #2

12 Week Belly Bump

2011-07-28T11:33:00.000-07:00

This picture is over a week old...I am now 13.5 weeks and my belly is even larger now...I know I keep talking about it, but I truly cannot get over how much sooner you show with baby #2. I'm kind of scared for my 30+ week belly bump!!! Is this child going to be a 10 pounder? (Luckily, I have friends who keep assuring me their bumps popped out fast in the early days but their weight gain and growth slowed down by mid-pregnancy - and their weight gain and bumps at the end weren't any greater than with their first. Fingers crossed. I think 7lb11oz is about the maximum sized baby I can pop out naturally!)

Superficial Post Alert!

2011-07-26T20:10:00.000-07:00

It was my 31st birthday on Sunday and I splurged on a pair of J Brand maternity jeans and oh my god, they are so worth it!!!! I highly recommend them for any expecting mamas who are also into feeling good about themselves. I've never splurged on high-end jeans before but was not digging any of the maternity jeans I tried on (and ended up skipping jeans completely while pregnant with Dorian, for the same reason). Most of the jeans look either frumpy, too big on my short frame or just downright fit really funny. So I went on my trusty internet, did research on which jeans would fit my style preferences and work throughout the entire pregnancy and postpartum (very important to me if I was going to splurge), and found hundreds of raving reviews for J Brand Skinny Maternity Jeans. I received them in the mail yesterday. I now finally get what the hype is all about, and may end up splurging on high-end jeans in the future. There is definitely something to be said for quality over bargain. (Especially if you wear them all the time, as I tend to do with jeans anyway.) This is one splurge I will not regret.

Day of Energy

2011-07-26T19:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I did it! The first real productive day I've had in 2+ months! I woke at 8:30am after a crazy busy night at work, went for a run (could only handle 3 miles, versus the 6 I used to run regularly, but still!), relaxed with a late birthday mani-pedi, made lunch for my family, took Dorian to Fairyland, went to the car wash, did the grocery shopping, made dinner for Dorian and I, bathed him, put him to bed and I'm still awake with some energy to spare! What an awesome day. Now, it's time for ice cream and Coronation Street with James. I feel like I'm finally starting to glow.

First Trimester Completed

2011-07-26T09:38:00.000-07:00

Thank god. I am finally getting a teeny bit of energy back now that I'm officially in the 2nd trimester...phew! I'm going to attempt my first jog/long walk in weeks this morning. I am hoping to get back into the swing of things soon. I miss exercise, meeting up with friends, having the energy to do things with my kid, and not spending my entire life sleeping, eating and working! Man, is the 1st trimester challenging! I had it easy with Dorian so this was a huge shock to me. I feel grateful I wasn't throwing up or nauseated the entire time, but this exhaustion (plus dizziness and headaches) was surreal. If I hadn't known I was pregnant, I would have thought my body was shutting down. I got a great night's sleep last night (only got up to pee twice!) and feel like I'm finally able to attempt exercise again. Wish me luck.

Ultrasound

2011-07-24T14:11:00.000-07:00

Our third (and clearest) ultrasound of Crockbaby #2. She (???) is about 13 weeks old. Everything looks great and my estimated due date has been changed to January 31, 2012. My mom says she looks just like Dorian...and James' dad says she has his nose. Regardless, she's pretty cute, in my (completely unbiased) opinion.

Are you sure there's not a twin in there?!

2011-07-23T00:49:00.000-07:00

The bump is massive for 3 months pregnant. I'm wondering if there is a hidden fetus or two...then again, it could just be the fact I never regained my abdominal muscles after Dorian and I've been too exhausted to do any exercise. Plus, oh my goodness, you pop SO much quicker with #2. I swear, I already looked pregnant by 6 weeks (I know a lot of it was bloat, but still). I'm really missing my runs and long walks. I feel my muscles wasting away and being taken over by fat (and okay, with so much sodium in my diet right now, water retention). I adore being pregnant and think pregnant bellies are gorgeous, but I do want to maintain a certain level of fitness and muscle tone while pregnant, as I did with Dorian. I feel so much better in general when I'm running regularly too. I've just been so tired. Any free time I get, I sleep. I'm really hoping I can start my jogs again soon - 2nd trimester energy burst, where are you? I promise I will post bump pics really soon.

Cravings

2011-07-23T00:46:00.000-07:00

I want pickles, salt & vinegar chips dipped in balsamic vinegar, and added salt on everything. With Dorian, I craved beef. All the time. Beef. We went to Barney's at least once a week so I could get all organic, grass-fed, added hormone and antibiotic free hamburgers. This time, I just want salt, salt, and more salt! My blood pressure is usually really low and it's been even lower during pregnancy. I'm sure the salt cravings are my body's way of trying to compensate. Pregnancy is so interesting. I love how it affects the body.

Now where are my pickles?

Baby's first cold (in a manner of speaking)

2011-07-20T10:04:00.000-07:00

Things I hate today: weak pregnancy immune systems, colds (caught from germy preschoolers), coughing so hard your diaphragm feels it might split, mucus that refuses to budge from the back of your throat, lack of sleep due to coughing all night, nonstop preschooler temper tantrums, leaky kitchen sinks, finally hot sunshine outside and not being able to enjoy it.

Things I love today: Peach sorbet, fantasies about cough syrup with codeine (I can almost taste it!), knowing my baby is well-protected inside my expanding uterus and that I am already protecting it from harm, glimmers of maturity in my son (he *tries* to stop the temper tantrums - he just can't yet), father landlords who get on the leak right away, the weather forecast for the rest of the week, knowing that this, too, will pass.

We're back with big news!

2011-07-16T20:05:00.000-07:00

Crockbaby #2 is now 12 weeks old with an estimated due date of February 3. I thought long and hard about whether or not I should keep a pregnancy/baby blog for this child and came to the conclusion of “How could I not?” This kid will already have second child syndrome; I can’t make it worse by not having one of those cool printed books of blogs and pictures from his/her first couple years of life the way we did for Dorian. So, after a long hiatus (Facebook replaced blogging for awhile there), here we go again! I must say, I’m quite happy to have an excuse (and the pressure) to get back into it. I loved blogging...and I'm proud we have all those memories recorded forever on the internet and in print.

This pregnancy feels so different from my first. At times, we forget I’m pregnant which NEVER happened with Dorian. I guess having another child to focus on does that to you. We also don’t have that urge to google every symptom and every week’s developmental stages and what not. We know what to expect already. I also know a lot from nursing school and being an RN in Women & Infants. We haven’t even pulled out a pregnancy/baby book this time.

I feel so much more exhausted with this one. It’s insane. I feel more tired than when I had mononucleosis and had to pull out of college for a month in 1999. This is sheer exhaustion like I’ve never felt except when James was away on tour and I was nursing Dorian 24/7 and he did not sleep for more than an hour at a time. And then, I didn’t feel jet-lagged from nausea, headaches and severe dizziness on top of it. Or have to go to work. And of course, that sleepless baby is now a 3 year old who still isn't a great sleeper. I’ve pretty much been sleeping all the time when I’m not with Dori or at work. My parents took Dorian to a music festival for 3 days a few weeks ago and I spent the entire time sleeping and eating (pickles, salt & vinegar crisps and cherry jolly ranchers, what else?) I also have crazy acne this time. Still, I'm starting to feel better now...and of course, it's a small price to pay for having a healthy baby. I absolutely LOVED being pregnant with Dorian (and had an easy pregnancy and birth) so obviously, I'm hoping it will be the same this time around.

I’m convinced we’re having a girl because of the differences between this pregnancy and our last one. Yes, I know that every pregnancy is different and the sex really doesn't factor into the symptoms a mom experiences. It's fun to guess though. Dorian originally said he wanted “a brother and a sister.” Now he says “it’s a sister.” We will see. Neither James nor I have any preference. We really wanted a little boy the first time…or at least, I did. (James wanted a son at some point.) I can see pros and cons to having a boy or girl. A little brother would be great for Dorian to play with (in theory) and we know what to expect with little boys. We have all the clothes and toys. Plus, little boys LOVE their mommies. Then again, it would be awesome to have a girl since it would be new for us, and then we’d have one of each "kind of child." And what feminine mother doesn’t dream of dressing up her little girl in cute clothes? (Please no pink or lace though; gag me.) We will find out the sex at our 20 week ultrasound in 2 months.

Speaking of which, we’ve had 2 ultrasounds already and our 3rd next week. Modern technology is amazing. Our baby looks healthy and happy. Just like us.

Things Dorian Says...

2010-08-12T07:33:00.000-07:00

August 4-12, 2010

*We got a glimpse into Dori's mind one morning this week. He was whining like crazy, shouting "no," you know, the usual toddler business. I pointed my finger at him and said, "Dorian, it is not okay to talk to Mama and Daddy like this." He responded, "This is like a game." Cheeky!!!!!

*Dorian started preschool this week. On his third day, I was going to take him for my first time. Over breakfast, I asked him if I could stay for circle time, or if I should just drop him off. He responded, "Just go, Mama, I'm a big boy now."

*We woke up one morning and Dorian said to me, "How about we let Daddy sleep? Let's close the door." Then, when James was awake, Dorian said, "Where's Daddy's coffee?" as I was making coffee for myself. Those boys are thick as thieves.

*Two hours into the Monterey Celtic Festival last weekend (James' band was playing), Dorian said, "I don't like this festival. It's boring and I'm cold," so he and I spent the rest of the day at our Salinas motel. All throughout the day, Dorian said, "I want to go home now," repeatedly and sullenly. He totally dissed his Scottish roots (and acted like a teen). Dorian and I headed back to Oakland a day early. What a wasted trip...I guess this was payback for all the trips my brother and I tried to ruin for my parents. Karma, eh?

*Yesterday, Dorian was looking at one of my bras and said, "Look, there's Mama's pretty boobie bra! Where's Dori's big boy bra?"

*Dorian said, "Look at my penis!" I said, "Yes, there's your penis. Does Mama have a penis?" Dorian responded, "No, Mama has a tail!"

Oh no...

2010-08-11T16:09:00.001-07:00

He's definitely got my genes. He does this all the time (Mom says I used to as well). I am an extreme Type A/perfectionist/over-achiever in case you didn't know. I am so sorry, Dorian!!!!!Please note that not only are the vehicles perfectly lined up, but he sorted them by type and size.

2010-08-10T22:10:00.001-07:00

Smile

2010-08-09T11:24:00.000-07:00

No one can accuse us of not raising a happy child...

Sleep

2010-08-05T07:17:00.001-07:00

Remember all our sleep posts? We're still not sleeping here. He was doing a lot better, but regresses constantly. He really does have great weeks where he will sleep 12 hours a night! But there always seems to be regression after regression after regression and then a huge battle/challenge to get him back to sleeping through the night. (I know some regressions are normal, obviously, with growing bodies and constant changes - but this kid DEFINITELY has more regressions than any other child I know.) We are exhausted. I seriously think I might die today. But enough of the moaning. Sorry. I'm happy really, just so #$&*@#% tired.*

I just don't understand how at almost-3, he still doesn't sleep. I don't nurse him anymore. He's potty-trained. No medical issues. He sleeps in his room now. We have double curtains up on the windows. But he's back to waking crazy early!!!! And doesn't nap. Ever. So he gets these cranky spells in the afternoon, sometimes so horrendous that he'll throw temper tantrums on the floor of stores (ask my poor, poor dad!) And he ends up going to bed at 6pm most nights. He wakes at 5am (or earlier) regardless, so he MUST go to bed early so he can at least get 11 hours of sleep. Some nights he wakes during the night several times, usually the nights when James is on tour - lucky me.

We've tried everything, short of shipping him off to a specialized sleep camp (they must exist, surely?)...this kid just refuses to be a sleeper. I am so tired, so very, very tired. I can't wait to get a job. It's easier to be tired and go to work during the day, than to be tired and stay home with the very "thing" that makes you so tired, you know what I mean? Particularly when there are temper-tantrums involved.

I can't believe my kid is almost-3 and still doesn't sleep. This is the best birth control ever, I swear.

*Note: He is still the most perfect child to ever exist. Sleep is his only issue. But boy, does it seem to cloud everything some days!!!

Things Dorian Says...

2010-08-03T16:42:00.000-07:00

July 27-August 3, 2010

*While at the park, Dorian looked at graffiti on the toilet wall and said, "Look! Letters. It says 'go pee-pee now.'"

*Kelly got him all set up on the couch with cereal and "Caillou," then he asked for fruit. Kelly replied, "I need to get in the shower, as soon as I get out, I'll bring you some fruit." When Kelly got out of the shower and came back into the living room, Dorian threw up his arms and said, "Where's the fruit already?!"

*Kelly gave Dorian a sticker & said, "What is it?" Dorian said, "You figure it out, Mama."

*Dorian to James, "You have to go big poopoo too, Daddy?"

*Kelly answered the phone and said, "Hey." Dorian, in the other room, obviously thinking she was talking to him, shouted, "What's up?"

We're back!!!

2010-08-01T07:03:00.000-07:00

Hello!!!!!! It has been a long time - almost 6 months - but I am determined to start blogging again...this blog has so many beautiful memories written, imaged (is that a word?), and shared. And Dorian is just so gosh darn cute...I'd hate to feel I didn't record some of his most "precious moments" somewhere. Sorry for the long hiatus. Nursing school was really challenging at times, but we did it and I graduated with high honors. :) For now, we are taking the summer to reconnect, relax, and yes, search for jobs. I am still determined to find a nursing position in Women & Infants (labor & delivery, postpartum, NICU, antepartum or wellbaby nursery) in the Bay Area. It is still a really horrible job market for new grads in the Bay Area, but we are hoping it will change by mid-fall. Otherwise, we will start having to look outside of the area in earnest. James is still playing lead guitar with Tempest - in fact, they are currently gigging in Washington at the moment. Dorian starts preschool next week! Life is changing around here, but we're all still happy, healthy and smart (we think). I will write in more depth really soon, but for now, I'll leave you with a few pictures...

The Family

Dorian

Daddy and Dori, reunited after the Tempest spring tour

Mama and Dori Love

James, enjoying the California summer

Kelly, relaxed at last

Hiatus

2010-02-16T20:22:00.000-08:00

If you hadn't noticed, we are taking a break from blogging right now. I would love to keep it up but life has gotten crazy with my accelerated nursing program, and James is juggling his time between Dori-care and the band. We are not stopping the blog, simply taking a break. I will try to post again within a month or so. In the meantime, if you are not already my Facebook friend, PLEASE befriend me (if I know you, I'll befriend you back). Leave a comment to this post if you're interested and I'll send you an email with my info. We post pictures of Dorian and updates all the time on Facebook. See you soon and enjoy these next few months!

Yosemite Trip

2009-12-25T14:26:00.000-08:00

Dorian, James and I stayed at the Evergreen Lodge in Yosemite, California for 4 days in mid-December. What an amazing time we had in the snow! We highly recommend the Evergreen Lodge for people with children - you get to rent your own cabin on a beautiful property with 75 cabins, outdoor play and seating areas, and hundreds of evergreen trees sprawled around. They have a recreational room with games and a toddler play center, a movie room, a lounge with computers and free internet access and a full-bar and restaurant. We had every intention of going into Yosemite Park but never made it. We were having too much fun at the lodge! There's always next year...I think this may become a new family tradition.

Thanksgiving

2009-12-25T14:18:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving dinner at Scott's Seafood Restaurant in Oakland, California. Present were Dorian, James, Kelly, Uncle Kurt, Grandma Darby (not pictured), Grandpa Bruno, Great Uncle Tom and Great Grandma Dorothy.

December Update

2009-12-14T16:16:00.001-08:00

More pictures soon. I promise! First, one of my gloriously long written updates...it's been awhile, I know. Have you missed us? Life has been crazy busy around here. But we wouldn't have it any other way...

I am now almost 60% done with nursing school! I graduate at the end of May. I can not believe how quickly this program is flying by. I just finished my maternity rotation and, as expected, I loved it. I definitely want to become a Labor & Delivery nurse...100% certain about that. I adored my time in L&D and felt right at home...it was the first time since starting nursing school where I really, really felt I had made the right decision in becoming a nurse. I hated Med Surg. God, how I hated it. I have now completed my Med Surg I & II rotations (thank freaking god), ICU/ER (ICU felt a lot like Med Surg, but I enjoyed my two days in ER), and L&D (we also spent time in Postpartum and NICU - fun, but not as fun as L&D). I will do my Pediatrics rotation when I return to school in January (looking forward to that one for obvious reasons), followed by Mental Health (yay - I love crazy people - we had a few while I was in Med Surg and I've never been more entertained or challenged) and Community Health (could be interesting, depending where I am). Then it will be time for my 6 week preceptorship (I applied to do it in an L&D unit; fingers crossed!), followed by graduation. I plan to spend a couple weeks cramming before I take the nursing licensure exam (NCLEX). I'll start looking for jobs in earnest in a few months time...ideally, I'll have a job lined up and start working fulltime as soon as I pass the NCLEX. We'll see how this goes though...nursing jobs are scarce in the Bay Area for new nurses right now so I may have to look elsewhere and either commute or move temporarily in order to gain nursing experience. We'll see. Stay tuned!

James is doing well too. Tempest just spent a month in the studio, recording a new album. It should be released in the spring and we're excited for a lot of guitar to be featured on it. His last big albums were recorded 5+ years ago when he was with Equation so it's been a long time coming. Gigs are coming in for next year, so Tempest should continue to keep him busy, at least by night. By day, he is the best stay-at-home dad ever and insists he still loves doing this full-time job. Thank god one of us does; I go crazy if I'm home fulltime for a week with Dorian. I love my child more than anything but it was so interesting to discover I just don't enjoy being a stay-at-home parent. I really thought I would.

Anyway, Dorian is growing away. He is still one of the big kids, 98% for height for his age and right around the 50% mark for weight. He doesn't get his height from us! He speaks in full sentences now and seems to learn about a hundred new words a day. I swear. He still loves to sing. His favorite songs at the moment are "Jingle Bells" and the "ABC" song. He dances, especially to bluegrass music, and has a big smile on his face as he moves to music. He seems to spend at least an hour a day "painting" (his word for any kind of drawing). He loves artwork. He loves playing the piano and guitar, and we're really excited Santa is going to be bringing him a proper drum and a CD player/digital radio for his bedroom for Christmas. He is an artsy kid for sure. Dramatic too...boy, is he dramatic. We get a lot of foot stomping and no's at the moment. It can be quite funny until his voice goes up about 3 octaves and 100 decibels. Dori's favorite toys right now (musical instruments and art supplies aside) are his Melissa & Doug kitchen and Brio trainset. In addition to puttering around the home and garden, we still go to the gym several mornings a week where James and/or I workout and Dorian schmoozes with the other children in the childcare program, Gymboree play classes, trips to the Oakland Zoo, MOCHA (hands-on children's art studio), Fairyland, Habitot, Studio Grow (if you haven't checked this out yet- you must!), and an assortment of parks and friends' houses.

Dorian has been loving the holidays this year, which makes it is so exciting for James and I as well. It is so much more enjoyable seeing Christmas through the eyes of a child. Everything is magical to them. Dori looks forward to opening a new window on his Advent Calendar each day. He ooh's and ahh's at Christmas lights and adores our Christmas tree. We read Christmas books every night and he talks excitedly about Santa Claus, Rudolph, cake and presents. We've been to a couple holiday parties and he tells everyone the next day about the party. He really does love to party (wonder who he gets that from?) We're taking him to Yosemite this week where we'll be staying at a lodge all decked out for Christmas. There should be snow as well. The few days before Christmas, we'll be throwing our own Christmas party, going into San Francisco to see the decorations and attending special Christmas-lights evenings at the Oakland Zoo and Fairyland. Dorian seems to love everything associated with Christmas, but then again, I think there would be something wrong if he didn't. What's not to love? ;)

Pictures to come really soon, maybe even tonight. Hope you all are enjoying the holidays thus far!

Photo Shoot

2009-12-03T18:53:00.000-08:00

Dori has really been hamming it up for the camera lately. He loves to take pictures now...no more battles over trying to get him to crack a smile. Now that I'm off school for a month, I'm really going to take advantage of his newfound love (and my free time). Lots of blogs this month - keep checking back with us.

First up: Dori and his animals! He sure loves cuddling his stuffed animals...as he's doing it, he says "Ahhhh, cuddles! Elmo cuddles! Puppy cuddles! Monkey cuddles!"

Happy Thanksgiving...

2009-11-26T14:20:00.001-08:00

From our family to yours!

Dorian, Age 2

2009-11-22T14:46:00.001-08:00

Happy 2nd birthday, Dorian!

2009-10-28T13:23:00.000-07:00

Dorian turned 2 years old at 9:49pm on Friday, October 16, 2009. I can not even begin to explain the emotions that came over me as I realized my baby was truly, officially a toddler, a little boy, and no longer a baby. He is running, jumping, climbing, talking, joking, being cheeky, and more. James and I both can not believe how FUN parenting a child has turned out to be. Okay, maybes James can but I can't. It's also very challenging, of course, but I really feel like it started become super fun when this kid started sleeping more. We still don't have perfect nights (though we had about 10 nights of 12 hours straight) but it is SUCH a difference from the old sleepless Dori. I feel human again. I am actually REALLY glad I'm in school because I've started getting a little broody again and I do NOT want another child until I have a job, had the chance to really catch up on sleep and get my body back into pre-pregnancy shape. Nursing school is great birth control! We are actually in our maternity rotation right now and I am loving it, just as I expected I would. So I'm getting my baby kicks in school.

Anyway, back to Dori's birthday...James and I gave Dorian a really nice, wooden kitchen made by Melissa & Doug (the brand that makes probably 75% of Dori's toys). We really like Dorian to have well-made, wooden toys. I am not a big fan of plastic, except for outside and in the bath. We were fortunate enough to find the kitchen and accessories on Amazon for much less than the normal price. The night before Dori's birthday, Grandma, Grandpa and James put the kitchen together and I managed the whole situation. :) Dorian woke up the next morning, saw the kitchen and said "Ooooooh, look at that" and then eagerly began exploring it. We knew he would love it (and hopefully for years to come) because he seemed obsessed with the toy kitchens at the various play centers we go to and at his friends' houses. It's also great because we can continue buying more food and accessory sets for Christmases and birthdays, and it's a sturdy toy we can keep for any subsequent children we may have. Plus, I wanted it to be pretty since it really is like a piece of furniture in our dining room.

The following week-end, we threw a birthday party for Dorian. We had aimed to make it a smaller party than last year by only inviting the children (and their parents) Dorian plays with. What we hadn't realized is that we have made so many friends in the past year! What was supposed to be a smallish party in our backyard ended up being a party with 15 toddlers, 3 babies, 2 fetuses (in utero), and maybe 25 adults or so! We had a great time, and so did Dorian. Although he did spend a lot of the party watching everyone from his seat. And pizza...boy did that boy eat his pizza. I think he had more pizza than James and I did. But he needs it...we took him to the doctor for his 2 year check up last week and he is 37.5 inches tall (97th percentile for height), and 30 pounds (70th percentile for weight). He's a big boy!

But anyway, back to Dori's party. Pictures below!

Mamas and children!
Pregnant ladies!
5 month old babies!

James, Ladies' Man.
Kelly with our Gymboree mom friends.
Sometimes you just need to take a breather.

It's my party, I can cry if I want to!

2009-10-25T22:33:00.001-07:00

More birthday pictures to come soon...

2 years ago today...

2009-10-14T22:01:00.000-07:00

I was getting tired and bored and antsy and soooooo ready for Dori to come out!

I can not believe it has been 2 years. Where the hell has the time gone? My kid is now, well, a kid! He truly is a baby no more.

Soccer/Football!

2009-10-10T20:45:00.000-07:00

Ladies' Man

2009-10-09T17:04:00.001-07:00

Fall is here

2009-10-08T13:55:00.000-07:00

He won't shut up!

2009-10-07T15:03:00.000-07:00

Some of my favorite verbal interactions with Dorian over the last week:

Kelly: "Oops." (After I dropped something on the kitchen floor.)
Dori: "Silly Mama!" (Repeat 20 times while giggling)

Kelly: "Let's go see if we can find Grandma and Grandpa."
Dori: "Both Grandka's!" (he calls them both "Grandka")

After I passed gas one day...

Dori:"Peepee!"
Kelly: "No, that wasn't pee pee."
Dori: "FART!!!!" (Repeat 20 times after James and I killed ourselves laughing and Dori realized it was funny.)

Any time I pass gas now...

Dori: "Burp"
Kelly: "No, Dori, not a burp."
Dori "Burp, burp, burp!"

Speaking sentences now...

Kelly: "Look at the tortoise eating vegetables, Dorian."
Dori: "Big turtle eating carrots!"

And my favorite...

My mom: "Do you think Dorian wants some p-u-d-d-i-n-g?" (spelling it out to me)
Dori: "Pudding." (I've been telling you guys he is a genius!!!!)

Dori tells me about his day all the time when I get home from class/clinical...it is so cute. It's a mix of jibberish and words. Example: "Mama, dah dah oonka lah Dori and daddy gymboree! Doo kah la fabadoo go store. Bananas dooba doo cookies da do uh huh milk. Balloon (pointing up) away. Birds in sky. Car doo dah doo home. Maggie ball! Snack...cottage cheese!" Amazing. My kid isn't even 2 years old. I love seeing how his mind works and being able to directly communicate with him!

Mic technique

2009-09-16T20:56:00.000-07:00

So many singers these days rely on effects and pitch correction to make them sound 'good'. Here's future rock star Dorian trying out an auto-harmonizer and delay:

Monster Blog Update!

2009-09-13T15:07:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been way too long. I apologize. Accelerated nursing school during the week and caring for Dorian on week-ends while James is away with the band have left me with no time to blog. I had this past week off from school so I put “write massive blog update” on my 10 page long list of things to do. Deleting my other blog is another – having my own personal blog was great in theory, but two blogs to keep up with is insane. So for those few readers of “Becoming a Better Kelly,” I am sorry for your impending loss. Rest assured, the cancellation of said blog in no way means I have abandoned my quest at becoming a better me. I am simply more focused on school and my lovely family than my blogging career at this time.

Dorian is the cutest child ever right now. Seriously. I am having the time of my life with him. Thank goodness. I LOVED the newborn and infant stages (apart from the sleep deprivation). But the past 6 months or so have been rough. Of course, I never stopped loving my child. But oh my god, he was able to press my buttons. He can play me like a fiddle. The temper tantrums and whining were driving me insane!!! And oh my freaking god…the sleep issues. The horrendous, awful, never-ending sleepless nights and sleep battles. We stopped nursing when he was 15 months old (in January). Looking back, I think that was about the time I really started finding the parenting thing challenging. I got really sick toward the end of our nursing “journey” – desperately sleep deprived, too many calories sucked out of me by my ever-hungry, half-my-size child, a trip to England and the resulting major jetlag on my child’s part, and then three illnesses in a row. Upon our return from England, it was straight back to work at the accounting firm for tax season (with long commutes each day), in addition to taking my last two nursing prerequisite courses. That was a rough time for me. Then when we finally got the boy weaned, we started seeing more temper tantrums. (Of course I am aware there was probably a connection, but it’s hard to stop and rationalize everything when you’re exhausted and in the middle of a 16-20 month old’s meltdown). I was so tempted to go out and have my tubes tied then and there. I kept having mini-breakdowns where I would cry to James about how I never wanted any more children and if he did, he’d better go out and find someone else to procreate with. It’s so funny looking back on it now.

For the past month or so, Dorian has been a model child. He consistently sleeps 10 hours a night, rarely waking in the middle. If he does, it’s usually because he has to go to the bathroom (we’ve started potty training, though I kind of wish he’d just go in his diaper in the middle of the night!) He was taking 2-3 hour naps each day, but lately there are some days where he goes without. No matter, because he is generally pretty happy even without the nap. He is a changed child. And I am a changed mama. Sleep has made all the difference for all of us. I adore being a mother. I envision more children in my future again. So James is even happier. Dorian is happier because he’s sleeping. Because I am more rested, I am able and willing to play with him more and do fun things with him whenever I have time. I am also happier being in nursing school and doing something I love. I have to face it, some people are meant to be stay-at-home parents. I am not one of them. I loved being at home for the newborn stage, and when we have more children, I hope to have the luxury of doing the same. I think the first 6 months would be ideal. But after that, send me back to work! I need adult time, brain time and to be honest, a break from parenting! Luckily, James is more than happy to be at home with Dorian. It couldn’t have worked out more perfectly.

We decided to pull Dorian out of his planned start at the Montessori school this fall. While we were thrilled with our choice, it was simply too much for us to commit to financially at this point. The director gave us a massive discount for the year (she’s a family friend), but we realized we couldn’t even swing the rest. Plus, we didn’t want to put him in the school for one year, and then have to pull him out next year or the year after when we realized full tuition was too much for us. Yes, nurses make a decent salary, but if we want to have more kids, we can't afford Bay Area private schools. Plus, who knows where we’ll be next year…I don’t know if you all know this, but there is a hiring freeze at all Bay Area hospitals right now . They are not hiring new nurses. This is actually happening in many places all over the US. There is still a massive nursing shortage that will continue to grow, but in the meantime, with the recession, it is too expensive for hospitals to hire and train new nurse grads. So we’ll see. Hopefully, we won’t have to move to Wisconsin or North Dakota next year. In the meantime, James is doing a fabulous job parenting Dorian. We have memberships to the Oakland YMCA (swim lessons for Dori and childcare when we want to work out), Gymboree play & music classes, Oakland Fairyland, Oakland Zoo, Oakland Museum of Children’s Art (art classes!), and Lotus Bloom (our local playgroup center). We plan to join Studio Grow when winter settles in as well. With so much to do in the Bay Area and a parent as hands-on as James is, Dorian is not getting cheated out of any stimulation or education by not being in school.

Dorian is talking and talking and talking. He’s saying full sentences now. Still some jibberish thrown in, but boy does he like to talk! I swear, he learns about 20 new words every day. Some of his most used vocabulary words include ”Delicious, tasty, poopoo potty time, computer, guitar, music, banjo, piano, drums, pizza, dirty, clean, ice cream, puppy, Stella, Grandka, milk, hot, cold, train, Mama, Daddy, car, walk, uh oh!” He calls me “Mummy” when James is around and “Mama” when he’s not. He laughs a lot. He pokes fun at himself. He’s got quite a sense of humor! Thank god for those Brit genes. He runs. He dances. He is soooooo close to jumping – it’s hysterical to watch him bend his knees and try to bounce off the ground. He adores trains – his Brio trainset is his favorite toy at the moment and he gets excited every time we see a train. He LOVES giving kisses and cuddles. He gives me a huge hug and kiss first thing every morning and then proceeds to grab my hand, pull me into the kitchen and say “Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat.” Yes, our boy still adores eating. He’ll eat anything and everything. He is a pure joy to be around right now and I can’t believe how much fun we’re having with him. He makes us laugh constantly. This age is the BEST!!!!!!

See for yourself...

Newest Discovery: Pockets

2009-09-13T14:46:00.000-07:00

Cheers! (video)

2009-08-29T08:58:00.000-07:00

A little pizza and beer in the sun with parents and grandparents:

counting on it

2009-08-16T20:03:00.000-07:00

Like father, like son

2009-08-15T20:47:00.000-07:00

clockwork

2009-08-11T07:59:00.000-07:00

So, I've introduced a new rule at home : Daddy doesn't get out of bed until 6:00am. It's not just for my benefit; I'm trying to get Dori to sleep a little more (though life is vastly different to a few months ago). Anyway, yesterday Dori was out of bed, pulling at my hand and saying 'eat, eat' at 5:30. I explained to him that morning doesn't start until 6am and showed him our bedside clock. After half an hour of him desperately trying to get breakfast started, I pointed at the clock, told him it was morning, opened the curtains and started breakfast. This morning Dori woke at 5:00am and needed the potty. I led him back to our bed, but expected him to want to play or eat. He tossed and turned a bit, but didn't make any sound. I heard him wake up at 5:45, but he didn't do anything. After a while he jumped out of bed and started shouting 'eat, eat'. The digital clock said 6:00 exactly! Coincidence I thought. So I lay there, stretching and trying to wake up. Suddenly Dori got very aggitated, started shouting, ran over to the clock and pointed at the numbers. It had turned to 6:01 and he'd missed a minute of the day!

In the Doghouse

2009-07-27T20:31:00.000-07:00

Puppy

2009-07-26T20:27:00.000-07:00

So, finally, Dori has his little playmate. Even to a non dog-lover like me, she's very cute.

Everyone seems to agree.

At first Dorian wasn't sure what to think; maybe even a little jealous of not being the center of attention.

She (as yet unnamed) took a liking to him, though.

Dorian wasn't too happy to share his things.

Then he decided: if she was going to play with his stuff; he'd play with hers.

Eventually, Dori realized he wasn't being usurped and playing with the puppy was actually fun.

I'm sure these two will soon be inseparable.

All she needs now is a name...

New sleep training method...

2009-07-22T07:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, sorry for the poor taste. I can hear my mum's disapproving sigh from here. Dori took a dive into the corner of table. There was blood and tears everywhere. After I cleaned and cuddled him, he spent half an hour very quietly listening to me play guitar. After that all was forgotten and he was running around looking for other things to fall on.

Little Star (Twinkle, Twinkle)

2009-07-07T15:42:00.000-07:00

This video is a couple of months old, but very cute.

These days Dori sings the words as well (most of them, anyway). He also likes Wheels on the Bus, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Old MacDonald (complete with animal noises), and Happy and You Know It. My favourite singing, however, happened when I was listening to Led Zeppelin: Dori let out a huge stadium-rock wail whenever Robert Plant did!

Camping

2009-07-04T19:09:00.000-07:00

We went camping at Del Valle Regional Park in Livermore, California for 2 nights this week. It was challenging, but we had some great moments. We are still battling sleep issues here and this boy does not do well with change of routine. Lots of screaming. James and I were sure we were going to get kicked out of the campground. We almost returned home after the first night. We had a pretty awful first day and night there. But enough. You can check all my Facebook updates for that. This blog is no longer the Sleep Complaints Blog...this is Dorian's Happy Blog! He is at such a cute age right now and it was nice to get away and spend time alone as a family. It was both James and Dorian's first time toasting marshmallows and making smores. Dorian did not like the smores...he only wanted the chocolate. He definitely has the Swiss gene from my dad's side there.

James and Dorian saw a mountain lion! But alas, they didn't get a picture. Apparently, they were really close to it too and James picked up Dorian and FOLLOWED it! What he was thinking, I don't know. And I saw the world's largest insect in the outdoor bathroom. It scared the life out of me. And there were thousands of wild squirrels running around everywhere - we practically tripped over them several times. Little rodents. And according to my mom, rattlesnakes and tarantulas are plentiful at the campground as well. Eek. I'm glad we all returned home safe and sound. It's a beautiful campground though and the weather was perfect. 92 degrees and not a cloud in sight. The water in the lake was warm. Dorian loved swimming in it. Good times. See for yourselves:

"Daddy, guitar! Daddy, guitar!"
More male bonding.
A clean campsite...
James somehow makes everything look more civilized.
Can we toast chocolate instead?
Mama ate all the marshmallows Dori didn't want. Mmm mmm!
James said Dori looked like a little garden gnome in this outfit!
Checking out the views.
"Cheese!"
My new favorite picture.
Helping.
Undoing our packing work.
Riding Daddy's guitar.

Art for art's sake

2009-06-29T20:20:00.000-07:00

Dori had a wonderful time at the Museum of Children's Art (MOCHA) last week. When we walked in there were lots of kids painting, drawing, making crafts and sculpting. Firstly, Dori wanted to make a design using felt-tip pens and ink stamps.

The teacher shows Dori how to use the pen.

Normally, I'd praise him for eating his greens.

After half an hour of very careful drawing and stamping he made a lovely scroll to send to Nana. I helped him get enough ink on the stamps, but Dori chose which stamps to use and where they should go.

He enjoyed it so much, he wanted to do another.

Next was painting. Let's start with some bold, red lines.

Add some more colours, then have fun with a roller.

Dori repeated the names of the colours as I said them to him. Since then, he has been able to show me red, blue, green and yellow when asked.

The finished piece, to be framed and hung in his room:

Unfortunately, true art has no boundries.
Here's Dor the very next day...

At the wheel

2009-06-27T12:33:00.000-07:00

The see food diet.

2009-06-23T13:29:00.000-07:00

This morning Dori ate:

1 large bowl of porridge;

1 pear;

1 banana;

1 peanut butter and jelly sandwich;

1/2 dozen grapes;

1 dozen blueberries;

1 strawberry;

1 cracker;

1 stick of Mozzerella cheese;

3 slices of Cheddar cheese;

1 handful of sand from the beach.

He's not a hungry little caterpillar anymore!

Busy, busy, busy.

2009-06-15T18:07:00.000-07:00

Life has been hectic for Dorian recently...

Hanging out with friends.

Finding a place to nap.

Taking a spot of lunch...

...can also make you sleepy!

A quick joke with Grandpa...

...then, back to bed!

Sitting around in the sun...

...can really be a drain on the energy.

Maybe all the sleep training has gone too far!

A New Morning (one that doesn't start at 4:30AM)

2009-06-01T19:13:00.000-07:00

So, Dori has grown up a lot recently. He says 'pee-pee' or 'poo-poo' when...well, you know when... and successfully uses his potty (if we get there in time). He says new words every day and sings along to Twinkle Twinkle and Old MacDonald with vigor. And he sleeps! 12 hours, in his own bed and with no crying. Real sleep! I wish I knew what prompted the change. What if he reverts to sleeplessness? Not sure I want to be back on square one. I won't complain though; he wakes up in a good mood and so do we. Maybe it's food? He has been eating well recently. Here he is helping to make cookies:

'That looks good'

'Anyone looking?'

'Just a spoonful'

I managed to save some mixture.

'let's see'

'not sure, let's get a second opinion'.

Maybe the change is from being so active?

He's been horseriding;

practicing scales;

rehearsing his country-rock duo;

working on his fine motor skills, stacking creamer, and making a mess -all at the same time;

swimming lengths in the lake;

and deliberately moving sand from one random place to another...over and over again.

Maybe it's love? he did just discover girls:

Whatever it is, he's so happy to be finally sleeping, he can't even pass a bed without taking a lie down.

Our Ikea trip took an hour longer than it should have. Dori had to try every single bed.

Stepping Down

2009-05-25T22:20:00.000-07:00

I am officially passing this blog on to James. I may make guest appearances every now and then, but if you want Dori updates, pester Mr. Dad! I start my Accelerated (12 month) Bachelor of Science in Nursing program tomorrow morning. I hope to update my personal blog more than I have been lately - I know a lot of you are going to want updates on school so I'll do my best. However, I've said it before and I'll say it again, Facebook is the best way to keep up with my news (I'm a status update junkie!) and keep in touch with me now. If you want to be my friend on Facebook, look up Kelly Crocker (there are 56 of us but if you specify "East Bay" network, I'm the only one who comes up). See you all in a year!

Family Portrait

2009-05-21T20:39:00.000-07:00

sleeping update

2009-05-18T08:16:00.000-07:00

Obviously there has been a lot about sleep on this blog. It is the one area where Dori isn't 'The Most Perfect Baby In The World'. Of course, if he slept like a baby (oh, the irony of that phrase!) we'd have trouble getting him to eat, he'd be antisocial, he'd still be crawling, or something else would fill the void. But with D it's sleep. The worst part is that when he doesn't sleep, neither do we. Actually, Kel has it worse; I'm a deeper sleeper and can ignore some of the low-level screaming. But we wouldn't have gone hungry had Dor resisted solid foods and I know I would have continued to walk upright had he remained carpet bound. His sleepless night is our sleepless night and it affects everything. That's why so many of our blogs, facebook updates and conversations involve napping schedules and different sleep strategies; it's such a big part of our lives as well as Dori's.

So, I am happy to report great progress. Last night he went to sleep at 6:15pm, woke at 4:50am and (once I'd led him back to his bed) slept on until 7am. When he woke he started singing in bed - very cute. When he finally climbed out to come and get us he was in a great mood. The best news? This isn't a one-off! Last week he slept in his own bed almost every night. He went to sleep easily and when he did walk to our room I led him back to bed (with what I call the 'bad date' method: no eye contact, no inflection in my voice, no physical contact), he resumed sleep immediately. The only problems we've had are when Kel tries to put him down. For some reason he plays her up. She has to lead him back over and over for 90+ minutes before he'll fall asleep. With me it's been once or twice and no crying. So I'm on sleep duty from now on. If we can get D to stay asleep to 7am every day we'll all be singing in the mornings.

Mother's Day

2009-05-12T21:10:00.001-07:00

Blog City!

2009-05-06T21:38:00.000-07:00

This is the sixth, yes SIXTH, blog I've posted tonight so be sure to keep scrolling down after each of the below blogs to get your full Dori fix. LOTS OF PICTURES! I will post a blog with the remaining pictures from Jenny and Grae's visit sometime this week - then we will finally be caught up. I fell behind while working during tax season, then I was too exhausted while James was gone to properly blog. I hate not keeping my readers happy. I start nursing school in less than 3 weeks - James is going to have to take over. I told him this and he said, "Maybe I'll just delete the blog." (I won't let that happen.)

Daddy is Home

2009-05-06T21:32:00.000-07:00

James returned home on Sunday and it was wonderful - Dorian remembered him and the boys played for hours. Lots of cuddles and giggles. Of course, Mama had to take lots of pictures of the sweet event! It's amazing how those boys look so much alike - if Dori didn't have my coloring, you wouldn't know we were related. I love how in all the pictures, they even have the exact same expression on their faces!

!

Dorian At His Finest

2009-05-06T21:20:00.000-07:00

Social Butterfly

2009-05-06T21:04:00.000-07:00

We have made so many local friends through Dorian. Dorian has playdates every few days! And of course, he still loves meeting up with all his friends at Gymboree.

Easter

2009-05-06T20:43:00.000-07:00

We had a lovely Easter. I prepared an Easter basket for Dorian - he was very excited to find it when he awoke that morning. He even forgot about breakfast for a few minutes (this has NEVER happened before - that boy is desperate to eat when he first awakes in the morning). Later on that morning, at a more reasonable hour, our friends and neighbors Esther and Adan came over with their 20 month old son Joa, my Grandma and Uncle Tom stopped by, and my parents and James' parents were there as well. We had a traditional Easter meal of pork buns and honey buns from Chinatown, Noah's bagels with cream cheese, fresh strawberries, Hershey's kisses and Cadbury creme eggs. We washed everything down with mimosas...I have no idea how many bottles of champagne we went through that day but it was pretty impressive. The boys went on an Easter egg hunt in the garden. It was so sweet to watch them both find the eggs. Dori loved it! I wasn't sure he would "get it" but he caught on right away. It was a lovely day!

Dorian has bonded!

2009-05-06T20:34:00.001-07:00

He has a favorite stuffed animal - finally! It is a little owl my mother bought him. He loves to poke it in the eyes and say "Eye, eye!" He also makes him fly through the air and he says "Peep, peep, peep, peep." He doesn't quite get it's not a baby duckling. He also feeds the owl and likes having him for company at his dining table...have a look!

Warning: Rambling Post Ahead

2009-05-02T19:05:00.001-07:00

I will post loads of pictures within the next couple days, but first, can I just say how excited I am for James to return home tomorrow? Oh my god, I can not wait. This has been the hardest separation by far. Dorian is just such a handful (delightful as he is) and it really is impossible for one person to take care of him 24/7. At least if that person wants to keep their sanity. He is sleeping so much better now, but the first week James was gone and after his parents went back to England, I thought I was going to die. No, seriously. I was so fucking tired. I was almost back to the exhaustion breakdown point I reached after our Christmas England trip and then illness city in January. Luckily, I didn't lose massive quantities of weight or get sick this time (no Swine Flu here!) After a few days of practically having a nervous breakdown each day, my mother stepped in and took over (I'm sure she would have stepped up sooner but I wanted to try to do everything on my own - I feel like a bad mother when I don't). She went back to her old routine of putting Dorian to bed in his bed and then leading him back to his room every time he got up and sternly telling him to stay in bed. We did this about 2 months ago and since then Dorian's sleeping had improved. I think Jen and Grae's visit (and a 3 day trip away), our trip to Bakersfield, and then James leaving really threw off Dorian's sleep schedule again. That boy needs routine like I need chocolate. Plus, he REALLY knows how to play me. He knows I'll eventually crack and let him come into bed with me. I couldn't survive if I didn't do that. Anyway, back to my mom...so she put Dorian to bed and down for naps for about 4 days in a row. The change was remarkable. He has been taking naps every day for the past week or so. Long ones. Going down easily without crying. Staying in his bed. Talking to himself until he falls asleep. Happy when he wakes. No temper tantrums during the day. He's been going down easily for bed. Not quite as many mid-night wake-ups (only 2-4 versus 6-8 we had that first week) and the last few mornings (except for this morning) he slept until 5:30am! He had been waking by 4am every day.

I know some people think I complain too much about Dorian's sleep (I had to drop some Facebook "friends" recently because they told me as much and I refuse to remain "friends" with people who don't support me emotionally). But truly, this kid just doesn't sleep sometimes. I am not exaggerating. I can survive on 5 hours of sleep a night. I'm not asking for 8 solid hours. But this kid was giving me 3-4 broken hours of sleep if I was lucky. And no naps. And then being a major pain in the butt during the day. I was exhausted. Sleep deprivation is horrendous. I am feeling much better now, but boy, I hope he doesn't regress to that point again (particularly while I'm in the intensive nursing program which starts in 3 weeks!) I hate feeling like a pessimistic complainer who can't function or enjoy her child's development. It's awful. But when you're that sleep-deprived, the only thing you can do is focus on not killing yourself or your child (I don't mean by suicide or murder - I just mean by not crashing your car, trying to stay awake enough to make sure your child doesn't stick his fingers in a socket, trying to feed yourself and your child, etc). It is really, really hard and I can see how parents end up having breakdowns or worse. I was *this* close. Truly. Thank goodness I have my parents and a wonderful group of friends. My mom helped out with bedtimes and naptimes for several days. My parents took Dorian on some outings each week-end. My friend Kate took Dorian three weekdays for me so I could sleep (I could not have survived this tour without her - she also got Dori to nap the days he was with her). My friends Nathalie and Wellington watched Dorian one morning so I could run, and my friend Renee watched Dorian another morning so I could run some errands. I am very, very lucky to have such a fabulous support system. Anyway, I know this has been rambling and this isn't even supposed to be my complaining blog anymore but I thought it had been awhile since we posted a sleep update on this blog. Fingers crossed...we really have turned a corner over the past week! When James returns home, we're going to work on getting Dori to stay in HIS bed all night long. I think part of the reason he wakes is because I roll over or whatever in my sleep, and wake him. Or he wakes because he knows I'm there and will cuddle him and hold him close if he cries. I know we need him out of our bed for sleep's sake, but I must admit, there is a part of me that will sorely miss cuddling him as we sleep. I love that boy so much. And I love my husband and can't wait to see him tomorrow (and not just so he can do Dori-duty for the next few weeks).

Language Explosion

2009-04-27T12:46:00.000-07:00

Woah. Wow. Phew. This kid can talk! In the last 36 hours, I swear, he has learned a couple dozen new words. I'm not kidding. Something must have clicked in his brain a couple days ago because there's no shutting this kid up now. He is repeating every word I say and then using it correctly (while pointing to the correct object) again later in the day. It's incredible. In the past day and half, we have added the following words to his already strong 18 month old repertoire:

table, water, cereal, spoon, pineapple, watermelon, tiger, window, rug, turtle, piano, bus, truck, dirty, cold, bag, bread, bib, flower, yogurt

"Dirty" is my current favorite - he says it with a strong American accent and he definitely understands what it is. He went to a spot on the kitchen floor that had caked food on it and pointed, saying "Dirty, dirty." It was great. We just need to get him a mop now.

He has repeated numerous other words - he's mimicking EVERYTHING - so it will be interesting to see what else he has retained.

Wow! It's amazing! I told you this kid was a genius!

18 Months Old

2009-04-24T19:45:00.001-07:00

These pictures were taken on Dor's 18 month "birthday" in his new trendy hippie clothes. James goes on tour and the first thing I do is take Dori and I shopping! We both got new clothes (I worked overtime the last couple weeks of tax season and we got a big tax refund so I was able to justify it to myself). I just love buying clothes for Dorian because we don't do it very often. Hannah gives us a lot of hand-me-downs from Rowan and Joshy, and my mom loves to bring home an item or two of clothing every now and then. We also have bought a bag of clothes each year at the White Elephant Sale since Dorian was born (we spend like $15 for a massive garbage bag full of used clothes). But Dorian needed a swimsuit and I couldn't resist buying these cool hippie-style shorts, brown polo shirt (I love the chocolate browns on little boys!), and surfer top while we were out. And I got him to smile for the pictures too...guess how? He has learned to say "Cheese" for the camera and he thinks it's hilarious!

Note: If this weren't a picture of a child, I'd love for someone to photoshop a joint in D's hand - the expression on his face looks like he just took a big drag out of a joint and is holding it in (coupled with the position of his fingers, the hippie top, and just chilling on the sidewalk - it would make an awesome pic!)

Catch Up

2009-04-24T19:09:00.000-07:00

As usual, time passes by. I know you're all thinking, "How very profound - I now remember why I visit this blog." Okay, that was supposed to be funny. Was it? Or is my shameless effort at humor funny in and of itself? Or am I failing miserably? I know this is not my complaining blog anymore (visit www.becomingabetterkelly.blogspot.com later tonight for complaints and vents) but let me just say this: I am tired. It is hard, hard work caring for a toddler on your own. James gets back in 1 week, 2 days and I can not freaking wait. Thank goodness for my friends Nathalie and Kate, and both sets of grandparents. Graham and Jenny watched Dorian the first 2 days James was away. Nathalie & her husband took Dorian for part of last Sunday (along with their 2 kids!) and Kate watched Dorian 2 six hour days for me this week. My parents are going to help out this week-end and I have Kate and another friend lined up to help out next week. I simply can't do 14-16 waking hours every day (plus broken nights) for 19 days straight on my own. I don't know how people do it. I would literally go insane. Anyway, enough complaining! Poor little Dor has been cutting his last two teeth the past week so I know that added to the poor sleeping. And he does miss his Dad - he keeps running around the house, opening doors and calling out "Dada." It's very sweet. When James talks to him on the phone, he calms right down and just listens wistfully. I am so glad those two have bonded. I really do feel like James and I are equal parents now. In the beginning, it was all about me because I was the milk machine. I liked that at first, to be honest, but now that we have temper tantrums and still sleep issues to deal with, I'm glad James is as responsible for him as I am!

Dorian is a handful right now because his sleep is still so wacked and temper tantrums can be plentiful when he's tired. But, let's put all that aside for the moment and focus on the wonder that is this child. He went to the pediatrician this week for his 18 month check up. The pediatrician was very impressed with Dorian - he told me Dorian was without a doubt the smartest child he'd seen in years and a bonified child prodigy. Dorian measured 34 inches long, which is more than half my height now, and the 90th percentile for his age. He was 26 pounds which was about the 50th percentile for his age. Nice and healthy. He got a couple shots, the last to come for about a year or so.

Dorian has a vocabulary that grows by the day. Today he said 5 new words! Amazing. I'm sure I'll forget some but his vocabulary now includes: more, dog, duck, owl, chocolate, apple, cracker, cookie, banana, poopoo, uh oh, chair, book, guitar, car, ball, cup, bowl, bubble, eye, nose, bottom, hair, ear, shoe, sock, hat, light, choo choo (for train, obviously), up, down, hot, cheese, cream cheese, waffle, Teletubbies. He can point to all his basic body parts (I'm working on teaching him the major bones now: femur, tibia, clavicle, etc but he doesn't seem to be catching on yet). He puts his hands on his bottom and says "Uh oh" and/or "Poopoo" when he has a bowel movement. Sometimes he'll also go grab us the wet wipes. He's started doing this when he pees too! (We're going to start potty training when James returns.) He makes a lot of animal noises too - dog, cow, sheep, tiger and bird noises. He sings songs now - he actually sings the melody to "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" and does all the hand movements. He understands so much now. We can give him directions and he'll follow them like the obedient child he always is - ie "Get your shoes," "Close the door," "Turn off the light," "Sit down," "Arms up," "Bathtime," "Please get me a pen," etc. He is so sweet - he knows I need my glasses first thing in the morning, so the first thing he does when he gets out of bed is find them and give them to me. He plays games all the time now. He was pretending to pluck the spoon out of the bowl of mush in "Goodnight Moon" the other night and then pretended to feed me with it while making eating noises. He kisses his stuffed animals all the time and tries to feed them real food. He loves giving cuddles and hugs. He has been happy as a clam in the jogging stroller so I can run every other day. He is really a joy to be with when he is rested.

I will post a series of photos over the next few days. First one to come tonight.

Tour

2009-04-16T23:56:00.000-07:00

I've been very lax keeping up with this blog while Kel is working, sorry. I promise not to let it die when she starts nursing school. Since my parents came over they, Dori and I have: driven to Bakersfield for a Tempest gig (pictures in the previous post); visited Mendacino for a few days by the coast; been to to Oakland zoo, Fairyland, Studio Grow, Lotus Bloom playgroup, Gymbouree and Golden Gate park; had an Easter egg hunt; and visited countless playgrounds and parks. Way too busy to blog! My parents have been taking pictures as have I, so expect a major photo post soon. Over to you, Kel! I left for the East coast on Wednesday as Tempest has a three-week spring tour. I write this at 2 in the morning after our first gig (very well, thanks for asking) and should probably get some sleep, we have a 5 hour drive to a gig in Iowa tomorrow.

Family Day

2009-04-05T21:19:00.000-07:00

James' parents arrived last week from England and will be staying with us until April 20th. Dorian remembered them when they got off the plane - he got a really big smile on his face and gave them both big hugs! We were so thrilled about this. He last saw them about 2.5 months ago and he is still just a baby, so it is great that he remembered them.

On Saturday, I had the day off, so Jenny, Graham, Dorian and I accompanied James to one of his gigs. We all had a wonderful day in Bakersfield. (There's a sentence that doesn't get said very often). The weather was perfect - about 75 with crystal clear skies, radiant sunshine and just a very gentle breeze. It was glorious!

The highlights: James and Tempest played well, as usual, and the crowd loved them. It was the first time Jenny and Graham saw James perform live with this band so I was relieved there were no mishaps or broken amps or anything like that. They were very impressed with their son's playing and his rock star moves (as was I, of course). Graham got very sunburnt (he was so red by the end of the day, he literally looked like a lobster) but he was drinking so I don't think he minded. Anyone could tell he was a Brit by the end of the day. He was completely sunburnt, drinking his lager, drooling over fish and chips...Jenny and I watched him sit at a table and hungrily watch a family eat fish and chips for about 10 minutes - it was hilarious! We love you, Graham! Jenny was interviewed by a television station and was soooooo excited about it. You have to remember, they're from a tiny village in England and TV crews don't tend to frequent Bridestowe. As she was telling us about her interview, she talked it down saying, "Oh you know, I am sure it was only a local station." We laughed so hard at that one. (Like a Scottish festival in Bakersfield would have made national news!) We love you, Jen!

Dorian was amazingly happy all day...no temper tantrums, no crying, no crankiness, no tired signs. Just smiles, giggles and running around (of course, the usual story -Dori isn't smiling in any of the photos!). It was a wonderful day. The perfect day. Seriously, it was the best day I've had in ages and reminded me how lucky I am to have the best family in the world (in-laws definitely included).

Facebook

2009-04-05T21:16:00.000-07:00

I regularly post photos of Dorian to my Facebook page. If you are on Facebook and not already one of my friends, leave a comment with your email address and I'll add you (or look me up). If you are not on Facebook yet, what is wrong with you??? I love Facebook. It is awesome. Get on it already! We are taking so many photos of Dorian, it is easier to upload them all to Facebook (you can do a whole folder of photos at once). This site is great and I love blogging, but it takes ages to get photos up!

Dori and the Dentist

2009-03-27T20:03:00.000-07:00

Dori had his first dentist appointment this week. We love our dentist. Dr Scott McKinzie and his wife Kate, who runs the business, are wonderful, as are the people they employ. You should definitely check them out if you need a dentist - tell them we sent you. :D Here's the link to reviews on Yelp (and their website). They sent us a baby gift when Dorian was born and always give him toys whenever James or I come in for an appointment. When James went to see them a couple years ago, there was a glitch with his dental insurance. Kate and Scott wrote off around $1000 worth of dental care because James' dental insurance had expired (through his previous job) but we did not know that. It wasn't their fault but they felt bad they hadn't checked on the status of the insurance before the work was done. It was totally unnecessary but amazing of them to do that for us. They are wonderful people and of course, very importantly, provide the best dental care possible.

We hadn't really considered bringing Dorian to the dentist until he was 3 or 4. However, James and I both had our teeth cleaned this month and we asked when Dori should have his first appointment. They said they could see him now (for a major discount). The dentist can tell a lot already and can make sure there are no major dental structure issues or decay. Dorian brushes his teeth daily so his teeth looked good! The dentist confirmed Dori does indeed have 2 more teeth coming in right now and should have 4 more coming within the next few months. He will need braces in several years as his teeth are crowded (apparently, they can tell how the permanent teeth will come in too). We weren't that surprised...both James and I had braces. I wasn't able to go to the appointment because I was at work, but James said Dorian did well. Of course, as usual, you can't tell from the pictures. He looks so unhappy!

Dori, Mama & the Newborn

2009-03-25T22:04:00.000-07:00

My friend Adeelee recently had a baby...Dori and I took a visit to see Oren, 9 days old (at the time). It was lovely to hold a little newborn again - he was so tiny!!!! I have completely forgotten how small Dorian once was!

The proud mama with her baby boy.
My friend Erika was there too...she was definitely Dori's best friend for a couple hours!

Dori definitely seemed like a toddler, a little boy, after seeing the newborn!

Dori at the Zoo

2009-03-25T22:00:00.000-07:00

Dori Eating

2009-03-25T21:56:00.000-07:00

Let's play catch up! Lots of picture posts.

Dori is so grown up now! Look at him eat!

My son too

2009-03-22T07:18:00.000-07:00

Everyone is always commenting on how much Dorian is like James. He looks exactly like James. He loves music, especially the guitar, like James.

Well, he's my son too!

He definitely has my perfectionist tendencies...

School

2009-03-12T21:56:00.000-07:00

It's official. Dorian will be starting school in the fall. Why so young? Because he is a child prodigy of course. Silly readers. How could you forget?

Seriously though, we are so excited for him (not so much for our bank account,* but we've always wanted the best for Dorian and believe education is the best investment there is). He will be attending The Renaissance School, a private Montessori school here in Oakland. It was started by my close family friend. I grew up with her kids, attended the same schools as them and sang in the San Francisco Girls Chorus with them. She was like my second mother. She started the school about 15 years ago and it has grown into quite a large school. It boasts nearly 200 students ages 2 to 14 (pre-school to 8th grade). The school focuses on the Montessori methods, of course, but also places a huge emphasis on language and the arts. We loved the presentation and tour we attended and everything Leslie and her daughters (whom I am still very close to; they're like my sisters) tells us about the school sounds magical. Dorian will be taught 50% in Spanish, 50% in English starting at age 2. The goal is to have the children bilingual by age 5 or so and then they start taking classes in a 3rd language as well (for Dorian, this will be French). And not just language courses. No. Math is taught in all three languages. Science too. History. It is not just hype either. My friend Kate's children are actually bilingual (they're young, so aren't quite trilingual yet). It is amazing.

All of the arts have a place in the curriculum. Of course, the emphasis on music makes James very, very happy. Dorian WILL be a musician. He just has to be! ;) We were blown away by the videos we saw. Children as young as 6 singing in harmony. Children composing music at age 9 for the class to sing. Children of all ages playing piano, guitar, violin and harp. And they are so happy. We obviously don't want Dorian to miss out on his childhood. Of course not. We want him to be a child, to play, to laugh, to have fun. Yes, James and I value education very highly, but not at the sake of his happiness. When we walked around the school and visited the classrooms, the children all seemed delighted to be there. They were very well-behaved, articulate, independent and respectful of their environment and others but laughing and playing around as "normal" (non-prodigal) children do. They were adorable. I actually attended Montessori school (I attended pre-school on the same campus!) from age 4-11 and I thrived in the environment. I firmly believe I have the drive I do, the over-achieving qualities, the organizational skills, the independence and the "I can do anything I put my mind to" attitude from attending Montessori schools. We are confident it will be a great start in life for Dorian.

James and I had not actually planned on putting Dorian into school before age 3 or 4. We always assumed James would stay home with Dorian full-time until then. Leslie and her daughter Nathalie made a point of telling us how children develop so much between the ages of 2-5, before most children even begin attending school full-time. If one has the opportunity to place their child in school (in a GOOD school), they should consider taking it. Children's language explodes early on! Age 2 is the optimal age to start learning a second language (actually, even earlier is better) and not just so the child will be bilingual. Speaking two languages activates areas of the brain that stimulates other kinds of learning. I am not going to go into all of it (mostly because I don't want to show my ignorance - we haven't covered the brain in depth in my courses yet!) Anyway, I could go on and on and on about the wonder that is The Renaissance School but I will leave it for another day.

We are thrilled Dorian was offered a place at the school and can not wait to become a part of the community.

*We will gladly accept in-kind donations for Dorian's School Fund. ;)

Friends

2009-03-04T09:46:00.000-08:00

Dori has had a great time playing with his friends recently.

Here he is with Rowan:

Out in the park with Ethan:

Playing with Dash:

with Mica:

splashing in the puddles with Gabriel.

Can you see it coming?

2009-02-26T21:48:00.000-08:00

Dorian is definitely a toddler.

Dori's World Continued...

2009-02-26T21:33:00.000-08:00

We have been so interested in making everything in our house accessible for Dorian. We've been reading books on Montessori methods and have been incredibly inspired. We went to Ikea last week-end and bought a couple new items of furniture for Dori. We also hung up pictures in his room at his level. James bought a little light that attaches to the wall by Dori's bed - he can turn it on and off himself. He has also learned how to turn the lamp in his room on and off. He is so clever. Have a look at his re-arranged room...

And his new kitchen table and chair - gone is the highchair! The cardboard underneath is temporary; we want to get one of those plastic floor covers to go under his table (anyone know where to buy one?)
A few bonus pictures of the cutie feeding himself!

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

2009-02-20T22:10:00.001-08:00

So cute!!!!!!! We have been closing the door to Dorian's bedroom and letting him put himself to sleep for naps and bedtime. It is getting easier and easier...less crying...less time to get to sleep. Tonight he cried for a couple minutes, then we just heard his music box. I went in about 15 minutes later to check on him and cover him with his blanket. He was asleep on his bed with "Goodnight Moon" open and his arm around it. It was so sweet!!!! He loves reading. It was just so adorable to think he pulled his favorite book off his shelf and read himself to sleep (and then cuddled it).

God I love that boy!

Sick AGAIN?!

2009-02-17T06:52:00.001-08:00

Poor kid. He is sick again. Kids really are germ bags/sponges. They get everything! He has a fever of 101, nasty, productive cough and swollen sinuses. He is also very cuddly at the moment. It is sweet and sad at the same time.

Not to be selfish but I really hope James and I don't catch this one. I have 1 month left to complete my two classes and have already missed close to 1/3 of the days I've been scheduled to work at the accounting firm. James is stressing left, right and center on all the various projects he has to complete for websites, Tempest, computer issues at the complex and teaching lessons in addition to caring for Dorian when I'm at work/studying/unavailable. He has been working nonstop for the past 4 days and I wish he would take a break already. It's not a good time for us to get sick again! Lots of hand washing. Lots of zinc. Lots of praying...or something like that.

Dorian's World

2009-02-15T20:47:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since I posted pictures of Dorian's "things." I bought some lovely African things for his room in London at Camden Market. We bought a lot of new items for him at the White Elephant Sale last month. You may recall we bought most of our baby items there last year. It's this awesome sale the Oakland Museum puts on every year - incredible secondhand items for dirt cheap. This year's finds for Dorian included:

wooden table & chair
easle/chalkboard
legos
art supplies
magnets for the fridge
wooden ABC tool & math tool
books, lots of books
potty training toilet (we plan to train him in May when James returns from tour, right before I hopefully start school and when Dori is 18 months old)

We moved his room around when we returned from England. We broke down the crib and he now sleeps on the mattress on the floor. We put up the tent set his Nanna and Granta bought him for Christmas. We made sure everything was at this level. The whole room is completely safe for him. Actually, the whole house is. We were inspired by our friends Kate and Nathalie who did the same for their children (it's the Montessori way), so we've pretty much had it completely safe for him since he started crawling around.

We have started "locking" him in his room for naps and nighttime (only done this at night tonight). We're trying to get him to fall asleep on his own in his room. He now naps for 3 hours in his room! He sometimes plays a bit first, and turns his music machine on and off quite frequently. We're going to buy him his own little CD/radio player soon so he can learn how to use a real one. He loves music so much. He does cry himself to sleep quite often, but he can do it. Today for his nap, he fell asleep curled up in a ball by the door. It was very sweet. But tonight, he managed to get himself into his bed! He cried for almost an hour and was at the door for much of that hour, but he got into bed to sleep!!! He is getting so much better at sleeping! We're going to be there really soon. And his development has been amazing the past month. He is so grown-up.

Have a look at his world (the tidiness is not just me - he does put his books, crayons and blocks away and we're working on the rest).

A trip around his room...

Dori currently loves...

2009-02-15T20:36:00.000-08:00

Feeding himself with utensils.
Drawing.
Sitting at his new (secondhand - $8!) table - he can even get on to and out of the chair himself, even though it's still a bit big for him.
Playing in his new playhouse - it was a team effort. Kelly brought the box home from work; James cut out the door and windows. We plan to help Dorian decorate it next week-end.
Bye for now, folks!

Fabulous Day

2009-02-14T20:54:00.000-08:00

Dorian slept wonderfully last night! Down at 7pm - even put himself to sleep. I lay next to him but he didn't need cuddles or anything. He just slowly closed his eyes and fell asleep. He slept until around 12 or so, then came out of his room and climbed into bed with me. Okay, I had to pull him up into bed but he's so close to being able to climbing in...then I won't need to wake up at all during the night. He fell right back asleep as soon as he got into bed with us. Then he slept straight through until just before 6am. A little early, but we'll take it!

I let James sleep in this morning and fed Dori breakfast and played with him for about an hour. As soon as there was a break in the heavy rain we've been having, I took Dorian on a very long walk and to two sessions of Gymboree. By the time we returned home, it was lunchtime. The three of us ate together which was nice - we haven't been able to do much of this lately. Dori's lunch was followed by an unusual midday bath - he insists on feeding himself right now, which we think is a very good thing, but it does mean mealtimes are very, VERY messy. He got chocolate ice cream EVERYWHERE. Yes, even there. I don't know how he managed to do it. After his bath, James got him down for his nap and he slept for THREE hours, uninterrupted!!!! Maybe we should do a bath before nap time every day? Nah, it was more likely the previous night's sleep (remember, sleep begets sleep!)

Then we took him to our friend Renee's house so she could watch him while James and I interviewed at a preschool from 4:30-6:30 (more on that another time). Apparently, Dori was great. The other toddler, Rowan, wasn't too happy with Dori trying to play with all his toys but Dor was a champ and took the bullying like a pro. Then we came home, fed him dinner, and James put him to bed so I could try to get a bit of schoolwork done today. It took longer this evening. James said Dori kept being close to falling asleep so he would get up to leave the bedroom and would find Dorian just behind him, practically sleepwalking (or "sleep following") him. He did this a few times before finally Dori stayed asleep in his bed around 8pm. Fingers crossed! We seem to be having more good nights than bad now (last night was definitely the best yet).

I had the best day with Dorian because I was rested and he was rested. I love days like these. Love them! I feel renewed. I love being a mom! Boy, motherhood brings out the bipolar streak, doesn't it?

Just look at our happy, rested, little chocolate-loving guy (what's not to love?):

What a difference a year makes!

2009-02-14T07:20:00.001-08:00

The below pics were all taken one year ago this week.

Is this not the cutest child you've ever seen?

2009-02-12T23:15:00.001-08:00

Eating out.

Eating at home.

Playing at Gymboree.

Playing with his friend Ethan.

Aren't Ethan and his dog so cute? I can't wait for Dori to have a puppy soon (my parents are getting another dog).

role reversal

2009-02-11T14:20:00.000-08:00

So, I just tried a new appraoch to nap time. Given he loves to copy what I'm doing (computer, writing, dishes, playing guitar etc), I thought I would pretend to fall asleep. In his room, I lay on the bed and gave an oscar-worthy performance complete with yawns; tossing and turning; and, ultimately, snoring. It was more like a coma really. I 'slept' through Dorian sticking his fingers up my nose, hitting me on the head, shouting at me and tickling my toes. Eventually, he realized I wasn't going to be woken. He went over to his music box and started his bedtime music. Then he bought a book to the bed and sat up with it on his lap, 'reading' aloud. Next he gently put his face next to mine and then finally he left the room! It was amazing. It's 2:30pm and he still hasn't taken a nap but I feel ready for one!

So many changes!

2009-02-03T21:51:00.000-08:00

Alright, I cave. I have been on strike for the past week because this blog is supposed to be more of James' responsibility now that I'm back at work and in school (and because this blog was started for the benefit of his family in England). However, to be fair, I never actually told him this. :D Plus, he was away all week-end with the band and now he has the cold I had last week. So, we'll let him slide this time. Poor guy had an allergic reaction to DayQuil on top of the cold yesterday - he was covered in itchy, swollen hives. No fun.

Dorian has now been off the boobs for 9 days! The changes in him have been incredible. I wish I had weaned him months ago. Actually, no, I wish I had never nursed him at all (not really, but oh my god, he is a different kid now). He is starting to sleep for the first time. We had a 5 hour stretch last night...in his own bed!!! Then he woke up and came running to our bed so I pulled him into bed with us and cuddled him and he fell right back asleep for the rest of the night! No milk or cottage cheese or anything during the night for the past few nights. And...wait for it...he took a 3 hour nap today with no interruptions. This is huge! He went down easily tonight too - no crying.

The sleep changes are AWESOME and hopefully will be here to stay. But the biggest changes have been developmentally. He has turned into a different child over the past couple weeks. He is talking like crazy! Most of it jibberish, but still. He is talking ALL THE TIME and he obviously thinks he's saying something because he'll talk while he's pointing to things or in response to something we've said or when he wants something. It is incredible. He was in the BEST MOOD EVER today. Seriously, no crying, no tantrums, just a happy, happy, happy child. If he was like that all the time, I wouldn't have been so eager to return to work. I could easily be a stay-at-home mom with a kid like he was today. It was a total change.

He is dancing to music all the time now. He starts bopping his head when we read any rhyming books. He giggles. He is very cheeky. He knows when he does something he shouldn't be doing because he always looks over at us, waits for us to say "no" and then chuckles hysterically. He roots around in the fridge and picks out what he wants to eat for every meal (he always picks healthy stuff - his favorite foods at the moment incluce any kind of fruit, avocados, cottage cheese, cream cheese, fruit-flavored yogurt, broccoli, Weetabix cereal, waffles, pancakes, ice cream, and tofu). He can almost feed himself with utensils...he can do it, but we still have to put the food on them usually. He can hold ice cream bars and eat them on his own. He can drink out of his sippy cup or a small cup with a straw on his own. He draws (scribbles) using pens and crayons. He loves playing with playdough. He plays the recorder beautifully, and of course, still loves to play his piano and guitar. He "reads" to himself and to us all the time. He loves spending time with his grandparents and will happily spend the whole day with them - no separation anxiety or mama's boy anymore. He gives us hugs, kisses and high fives depending on which one we verbally request. He understands so much now. He points to his nose and mouth, and to ours. He sings. He has moved up a level in Gymboree. He is the smartest one, even though he's the youngest. Seriously! There are things they have the kids do and he gets it before the others do. It's amazing. He also always wants to be the first to do things and he watches the teacher quite often, even when he should be sitting down with the other kids (see the pic below). He climbs up stairs and ladders and goes down slides. He is very serious when he is learning something new. You can tell he is really thinking about things. He is obsessed with my dad. He cries when he leaves, much like the way he used to cry when I left (he doesn't cry when I leave anymore, only when my dad does!) He loves James' shoes and feet for some reason and was desperate to get James' Docs on today. There are so many things I know I'm forgetting to mention. He is just such a grown-up boy now!!

Weaned!

2009-01-29T14:28:00.000-08:00

It has been 80 hours since Dorian last nursed! Check out my blog (http://becomingabetterkelly.blogspot.com) if you're interested in reading about the challenging nights we've been having. Last night was pretty rough, BUT he is now drinking whole milk! He drank about 12 ounces of whole milk last night and has been having loads today too. Phew. We were worried there for a bit (he didn't seem to be drinking ANY fluids for the first couple days of weaning). Once Dorian has calmed down a bit after the weaning (maybe in a week?), we will re-focus our efforts on sleep training. So far, weaning has not helped his sleep as so many people told us it would. Last night he woke crying every 45 minutes. It's harder to get him back to sleep now since I'm not nursing him. I just have to rock him, pat his back, sing to him. We're still co-sleeping and know this isn't ideal either. We'll work on it. But in the meantime, wow! I feel so free to have him weaned!!!! This is HUGE.

The Final Wrap-Up: London

2009-01-28T11:37:00.001-08:00

Long overdue post on London. We left for London via train on Friday, January 8th. The original plan (months earlier) had been for me to go to London for 5 days without James and Dorian. Of course, Dorian decided he was not going to give up the boobies at 12 months as we had hoped. So James and Dori had to come with me. We compromised and only went for 3 days. James is not a major fan of cities, and obviously would have preferred to have stayed in Devon with his family for a few extra days. But fair's fair. I had wanted to do London the previous year when Dori was a newborn but there was so much family stuff going on in Devon (and no one had met Dori yet, or seen James in 3 years) so we didn't get the chance to go.

The train ride was beautiful. It took about 2.5 hours and the views were lush. There was a dusting of frost on everything so it looked like it had just freshly snowed. Even in winter, everything in England is so green, so bright and pretty. It is such a stunning country. Shame about the weather. When we arrived at Paddington Station, my good friend Sam was waiting for us. Sam used to live in Devon - I met her when we both worked at a bank in Exeter in 2003. She became my best friend while I lived in England. She has visited us in Oakland once, and miraculously, we've both managed to keep in touch via long emails for 4.5 years. She's a really good friend. One of those few people you click with in life and can go years without seeing and then pick up like you never left off, you know?

We took a taxi to Sam's flat in Westminster (near Chelsea and Kensington) and OH MY GOD. She lives in the nicest part of London and her flat was stunning. It's quite small (though probably not by English standards) but the street is gorgeous. Pristine white Victorian apartment complexes (freshly painted) with black iron gates and fluffy, green trees (at least, I imagine they are in the summer) lining the street. Cobblestone paths. Exactly what you think of when you think of London! Inside, we had to go up 4 flights of tiny, winding stairs to her and her boyfriend's attic apartment. It was very sweet with a kitchen, bathroom, living room and bedroom. I forgot how tiny British apartments are - it was about the size of James and my second apartment in Exeter.

Sam and I left James and Dorian at Gymboree (yes, they had Gymboree play classes a few blocks from her house!) and went to Portobello Road. There's a market that takes place there every day and it was so cute. The street was gorgeous. I bought the cutest knit Indian hippie jacket for Dorian - it will be in some pictures soon, I'm sure. I didn't take many pics in London because I figured I could find thousands of pics on the internet and didn't want to be walking around with a camera out. I wanted to enjoy my trip. Taking pics can be exhausting! Luckily, I was right...

Here are some pics of Portobello Road, Portobello Market, and Notting Hill (couldn't find exact photos of Sam's place, but the picture with the apartments below is similar):

On Saturday morning, Sam had to work so I went for a walk on my own through her neighborhood, Notting Hill and Kensington. I am in love with London! James and I also took Dorian on a walk through Kensington Park. Dorian hated the cold. Absolutely hated it. So we didn't get very far. But here are a couple pics of this gorgeous city park:

On Saturday afternoon, Sam and I went to a couple pubs, then met up with James, Dorian and Sam's BF Jamie for Indian food. We had a really good night, though boy, is my tolerance low. I got massively drunk after 4 glasses of wine (over several hours) and promptly crashed when returning to Sam's around 9pm.

On Sunday, Sam and I took a double decker bus to Camden Market which was soooo cool. It was like a classy, English version of the Haight Ashbury. It was such an interesting mix of bright colors, new items, ethnic items and old architecture. I was in love. I bought so much stuff for ridiculously cheap, even by English standards. The best buy was an Indian tapestry, cushion covers, and a colorful throw for our couch in red, gold and purple hues. I bought wool tights and cool knit hat for me (the look in England at the moment is wool tights with riding boots, short skirts, peacoats and floppy hippie hats - a look I very much love and have been recreating over here)! I thought of the men in my life and bought a hippie shirt and guitar clock for James, English candy and a VW clock for my Dad (his birthday was Dec 31st), and colorful African art and wooden animal toys for Dorian. I also bought massive quantities of tea, Marmite (for James; I can't stand the stuff), Cadbury chocolate and HobNobs (the yummiest cheap English oatmeal cookie) to bring home. Here are some pics of Camden Street and Camden Market:

Then, Sam and I took the tube to Spitalfields Market, which was awesome too. It was great to see the East End, since I have always heard about it. Every part of London has its own feel and was one of the things I loved most about London. It is like 10+ different cities in one area. Then, Sam and I went to a couple more pubs. A couple pics of Spitalfields:

While we were out boozing and shopping, James and Dori went to visit with James' friend Jim from university. Here are some pics they took (doesn't Dori look thrilled to be in London?):

On Monday, we flew home. It was a short week-end in London, but very fun. And it even snowed lightly a couple times! I could totally see myself living in London - I LOVED it. I am much happier in a city. I don't know what it is. But I just love cities!

England Trip Wrap-Up #4: Final Days with Family

2009-01-28T10:58:00.001-08:00

England Trip Wrap-Up #3: Exeter

2009-01-28T10:47:00.000-08:00

More photos from our England trip...the below pics are from another couple days we spent in Exeter, the town in Devon where James and I used to live. We met up with two of James' friends, Ben and Duncan.

England Trip Wrap-Up #2

2009-01-23T22:27:00.000-08:00

I took this picture the day before we left for London (update to come on that soon). It's my new favorite pic.

sickness and health

2009-01-21T22:24:00.000-08:00

Poor Dorian. We made it back from England last Monday night and all went straight to bed. Tuesday was spent unpacking and catching up. Dorian got reacquainted with his toys while we disassembled his cot and removed his changing table. Now he sleeps on a mattress on the floor and has a cool tent from his Nana and Granta to play in. We didn't leave the house once, except to the store for groceries.

The next day, conscious he needed to be out and playing, I took him to a nearby playgroup. He seemed fine: toddling about, playing with the toys, reading books, watching the older kids...business as usual. I sat with him at the play-dough table, but became a bit too engrossed in making sure the guitar I was making was accurate. When I finally looked down Dorian had his face slightly scrunched, like he was about to cry. I picked him up and then stood. As soon as I did, a milky wave of baby sick emanated from him, all over my T-shirt and trousers. Somewhat dazed, I ran with him to the restroom to clean up. I presumed he'd swallowed some dough, so tried to reassure the other parent by shouting, "it's the plasticine! it's the plasticine!" Later I found out no-one here knows what plasticine is (trade name apparently), so I probably seemed a bit weird, covered in vomit and shouting incoherently. When I got him to the bathroom and half presentable he turned back into Mr Creosote and covered me a second time. I emerged from the restroom worse than when I went in and took a weak, fragile looking Dori back home.

After a bath and some food he seemed much better, so I figured I had been right about him swallowing some play-dough. He seemed well enough for me to take him to Gymbouree in the afternoon. I thought he would be excited to see his friends and all the Gymbouree stuff, but he just lay in my lap the whole time. I put it down to jet lag and the shock of his morning adventures (he'd never vomited before) so we left early and he went to bed.

The next morning he seemed brighter, but on changing his diaper it became obvious all was not well. It was filled with a pool of bright yellow diarrhea. Some had spread up his back and down his legs, but the worst was yet to come. As I held him up to put on a clean diaper I accidentally squeezed his stomach and he emptied out onto my lap! With a vomit shower one day and a diarrhea bath the next I was feeling like I'd passed some sort of initiation to becoming a real dad. Actually I was feeling pretty wretched, but Dori was worse so I couldn't complain.

For a week, he's not been eating much and producing a lot of watery poo. I've done a lot of washing (clothes, sofa covers duvets etc) - that stuff gets everywhere. There has been some farting that was probably picked up by the California Geological Survey and our appartment has been smelling like a chemical plant. Worst of all, we've not been able to go out much.

Thankfully he was back to his old self yesterday (just in time for the heat wave to give way to rain). It's been a looong week.

England Trip Wrap-Up #1: Equation Kids

2009-01-16T19:48:00.000-08:00

We spent a lovely day with Kath and Sean, James' former Equation bandmates, and their twin girls Lilly and Poppy. The girls are 3.5 months older than Dorian and so cute. We had a wonderful time catching up with everyone, and Dorian was smitten with the little ladies. We ate a nice meal prepared by Kath (though I'm still not convinced about trifle) and took a very cold walk. Gorgeous views by their house - check out the pics at the end of this post.