St. James is coming!

I just wanted to share how excited I am that St. James returns on Monday. That's my parents' nickname for him; they say he must be a saint for taking me on! I didn't miss him as much as I expected the first two weeks (probably because I was so busy at work). However, my stomach has grown more this week and I have all these new maternity and baby clothes and now I just want him to be back here so we can be excited together again! Take your mind out of the gutter, I was not talking about that kind of excited (though James wishes I was!) Tuesday morning we have a doctor's appointment where we'll get to actually hear the heartbeat for the first time. Then James will fix the digital camera for me, whether he likes it or not. Expect pictures of baby clothes, my growing bump and various other odds and ends next week. It will be a photo extravaganza!

James: Please come home!!!

ARGH! I am so not technologically minded. I can barely maintain this blog without the help of the daddy-to-be! Last week it was the scanner I couldn't find (I guess that one is not really my fault!) Then I couldn't crop the picture without James' help. Now our digital camera isn't working - I've changed the batteries, deleted the old pictures and it still refuses to remain on. I tried using our old digital camera but the quality is so horrible compared to what we're now used to, I would be ashamed to post the pictures on this high-tech blog. So, once again, no pictures for you!

Anyway, life is still swell for me. I had 4 days off from class and work this week-end. This was the first time I had more than 24 hours off since Christmas (and even when I have 24 hours off, I am almost always studying). Do you remember a couple weeks ago I mentioned my intentions to go for long walks in the sun, get a massage, go shopping? Well, I ended up sleeping for practically 4 days straight! I guess my body (and little babe) obviously needed it. I got out of bed to eat, pee (thank you very much overactive kidneys - I'm ready for this symptom to go away now), and watch DVDs under a blanket on the couch. I did manage to go shopping, albeit online. Gotta love E-Bay. I purchased 2 baby onesies especially for James (not literally) and will post pictures of them when they arrive (if James ever comes home to save me from this technological hell). I also purchased a huge lot of maternity clothes (at an amazing price!) so I can finally get out of the jeans and old fleece jacket I have been living in for over a month. True to my word, I did take a few walks around the lake, although not in the sun, as it rained most of the weekend. In addition, I had lunch (beef of course) with my grandma and mother on Sunday. Then I crammed for hours for Monday morning's Physiology exam (on the cardiovascular system). And just like that, my mini-vacation was over.

Now it's back to the grind - classes, work, studying. I have final exams in less than a month and although I won't be working quite as much at my job as I did the past 6 weeks, I can't work less than 20 hours a week since we've got another deadline (non-tax) coming up. 20 hours is actually a lot with 3 classes, 2 labs and final exams coming up. After finals are over, I work full-time (+ probable overtime) for 2 weeks to help my company move office, then I have 8 weeks of summer school. We're talking 5 hours of Microbiology a day. And although my future at my company is a bit unclear (due to the upcoming move and my inability to commute), I am hoping to still be working 20 hours a week through the summer (and perhaps longer). I can't wait until August when I will have 2-3 blissful months of no classes (or maybe just one for fun) and hopefully part-time work. This baby better not be born early or I'll never let him forget it! :) I haven't had more than 1 week off since we moved here almost 3 years ago and spent about a month looking for a job. I am a workaholic I suppose, but that is the American way. We wouldn't be able to afford a kid right now if James and I hadn't worked 24/7 for several years. Plus, for all my complaining, I honestly wouldn't have it any other way! I am a true Type A personality.

Anyway, I am rambling. Yes, it is my blog, but I don't want to lose all my readers so I think I should probably sign off before I bore you all to tears. I am going to go for a power walk before my 3 hour Physiology lab. Hope you all are well - I promise we'll get you some pictures eventually!

Big day!

I told people at work I was pregnant...everyone was really excited for us, but then I wouldn't have expected anything less. I have great bosses and work with an incredible group of people. It's such a relief to know I don't have to keep holding files in front of my stomach while talking to colleagues anymore!

We also got the results back from our nuchal translucency screening test (taken during the ultrasound last week and also by blood test). Based on my age and the results of the tests, our baby has a 1 in 31,000 chance of having chromosomal abnormalities (which cause serious mental retardation). Needless to say, an amniocentosis test will not be necessary.

More tomorrow when I return from class and officially have 4 days off!!!

CrockBaby at 13 weeks...

I found the scanner (it was under a bunch of guitar cords on the floor of James' closet). Then I could not figure out how to crop it so I emailed the picture to James (everyone's favorite techie) and he performed the necessary (and I am told, quite easy) editing from Wisconsin. Here are the latest pictures of CrockBaby (taken one week ago)...


CrockBaby was moving like crazy again when the ultrasound started. He kept turning to face us and then would flip over the other way. He sucked his thumb and kept swallowing amniotic fluid - you can see his tongue sticking out in the fourth picture. The ultrasound technician was trying to get measurements but couldn't get one of the necessary ones because he was moving so much. Then, all of a sudden, movement stopped. CrockBaby fell asleep! And we could not wake him up for 10-15 minutes! The tech kept having me cough, move to each side, and more but my little baby was zonked from all the exercise. The tech kept prodding my stomach with the ultrasound wand and I wanted to hit her over the head with it because I was so worried she was going to hurt my little one. Finally, he woke up though and we were able to get the proper measurements. Everything looks great - he is growing fast and has a nice little belly on him. His heartbeat was 152 bpm, exactly what it should be at this stage. We go in to the doctor again in 2 weeks (we'll get to hear the heartbeat but probably no ultrasound at this appointment). Our next ultrasound is one month after that. I can't wait to see the little guy again (and figure out whether he really is a little guy or actually a little gal!)

Pictures!!! To be continued...

Well, I was all set to post the latest pictures of CrockBaby tonight. James and I had a high-tech ultrasound on Monday (I am officially in the second trimester now). James left on tour later that day. Here it is, 5 days later, and I still haven't posted the pictures. The new daddy is not happy - he wants to see pictures of his little boy while he is on tour and away from the bump. (I have a major hunch CrockBaby is a boy. Start your betting - we find out in 7 weeks.) So anyway, I just got home from work and thought I'd better post these pictures before I get all comfy on the couch with my dinner and Friends re-runs. Guess what? I can't find the bloody scanner!!! Mr. Messy has hidden it away somewhere and I can't find it! James always gets on me for "tidying up" after him and now he has done exactly this to me (though I'll probably find it under a pile of dirty clothes or guitar magazines). So no pictures for you tonight.

I also wanted to let you all know that I am okay, James is okay, CrockBaby is okay. It's just been a killer week for me with the final tax deadline push (4 more days!) Then it will be schoolwork catch-up for a few days, then I have 4 days off from work and school (except for studying for one exam - there's always something!) Expect my blog posts to pick up again in about a week. Thanks to those of you who are posting comments...I am going to threaten to shut down the blog if more people don't leave comments. I know there are lurkers out there. :) James is doing great - he has had gigs in Illinois and Wisconsin now. It's snowing big time there! If you want to hear more about his rock star life, make sure you let him know. Maybe he'll post something for you all if he has time. CrockBaby is doing well. He is demanding more and more beef as my iron levels are low. Anemia is very common during pregnancy and I am borderline at the moment. Explains why I have been craving beef for weeks now! He also makes me pee every hour in the middle of the night and wakes me up at every single little noise. It's not very nice of him, especially around 4am when it takes me about 2 hours to get back to sleep (and then my alarm goes off at 7am). He must be training me to wake up every couple hours when he is nursing. I can't wait until we start feeling fetal movement! Apparently some women feel it as early as 14-15 weeks but most don't feel the first movement until around 20 weeks. I am hoping with our active baby, I'll feel it earlier. After all, he's practically doing cartwheels inside me right now! More to come about this when I post the latest pictures (if I ever find that darn scanner!)

Hugs all around...

Tax season finale week

Thank goodness tax season is over on April 17th. I will then be able to tell my bosses I am pregnant. I could tell them now, but I think it would be selfish of me to take some of their attention away from the almighty deadline. There is no reason my news can not wait for another week or so. Provided my stomach doesn't grow any bigger in the next week! At the moment I am wearing super-loose flowing tunic tops so I can try to hide the swelling bump. Last night I took BART (the subway) back to Oakland after working all day and then going to see the Killers in concert. The train was packed like sardines. A nice college-age man offered me his seat! Other people are now starting to notice that I'm showing (or maybe it was the fact that I was holding my stomach because people kept bumping into me and I am already an overprotective mother). Seriously though, my stomach has really popped out this week. I have put on a total of 4 pounds since conception and can feel that my uterus has extended past my pubic bones. It is so exciting to watch my stomach grow! Anyway, once again, I have major studying to do so I will say good-bye for now. Things will quiet down a bit for me with work and school in about 2 weeks at which point I plan to take some "me" time while James is on tour. I may splash out on a massage, take some longs walks in the sun, buy some cheap maternity tops, maybe even a baby onesie or two. I can't wait! Happy Easter!!!

We're still here...

No, I haven't given up on the blog after 1 week! It is spring break week for me from school so I am working 60 hours this week at the accounting firm (since taxes are due April 17). Spring break, woohoo!!! Add 1.5 hours of commute time and a lunch hour each day and it amounts to me leaving the house at 8am and returning around 8pm (Saturday too). Still, CrockBaby's savings continues to grow so I'm happy. I feel lucky and proud that over the past few years, James and I have been able to pay off our student loans and other debt and actually start saving for our family. All I want is for this baby to be loved and looked after properly. Jessica, who is by far the reigning commenting champion of this site, will be the head non-grandparental babysitter. Jessica is the first person I have hit it off with since moving back to the Bay Area almost 3 years ago. (What can I say? I am really choosy about who I spend my time with!) She is as excited as I was when Hannah was expecting Rowan. It's hard when you're young, love babies and children, but don't know many people who have babies yet. I remember; in fact, I am still experiencing this. So Auntie Jessie is going to be allowed to get her baby fix with CrockBaby as much as she wants. Provided we don't have to pay her. ;) Jess is a children's dance teacher so she can teach the baby all the right moves, something her/his mother certainly never learned, and definitely not something the father ever learned (though he would be sure to dispute this!) Anyway, I better go get some studying done as not only am I working crazy hours this week, I have 2 exams at school next week! AARRGGHH!!! I can do it. I know I can. It's all for CrockBaby's future. Thanks again for all the incredible support and kind words everyone keeps sharing with us! More pics and blogs to come next week, I promise! CrockDaddy the "Y chromosome provider" leaves for a 3 week East Coast tour on Monday so I will have to keep updating the site daily for him, even if no one else visits the site!

Hi from Dad

Kelly was worried this blog was making her look like a single mum so I thought I ought to contribute something. While Kelly has another six months of hormonal imbalance, mood swings and morning sickness to deal with, I have six months of dealing with a hormonally imbalanced, moody, sick Kelly. Luckily I've known her for 7 years now so I'm well practiced. My contribution to the baby was over all too quickly; for me it's now a matter of waiting and planning. We are going to rearrange the house to make better use of our space and convert our laundry room to a nursery so I should be kept busy when I return from my band's east coast tour. We are both still on cloud nine at the moment and I'm not sure it'll feel real until there's a baby in my arms. I can't wait for October, sleepnessness, dirty nappies and all.

As our baby will be an American we're thinking of names like Randy, Sue-Ellen or Cletus. Maybe a good Oakland name like Laquitia or Jamaall. Any suggestions?

Thanks to everybody who has contacted us with their best wishes and congratulations over the last week.

Sunday Special: Worshipping the Newborn

James and I went to visit my childhood friend Nathalie and her husband Wellington today. Nathalie gave birth to their first child, Kalil Etienne, 5 days ago and was kind enough to invite us over to visit the little guy. He was 7lb, 6oz at birth and is the smallest baby I have ever seen. It was my first time holding a baby less than two weeks old and I loved every second of it. James was marvelling over his expressive facial features, while I just couldn't stop thinking about how I have a little one growing inside me right now. Kalil is the most wonderful newborn - he barely cried and was happy lying in the sun and looking around. Congratulations Nathalie and Wellington!!!

Hypochondria + Pregnancy

Several people have asked me if I have experienced any pregnancy symptoms yet. I think Jen (James' mum) summed it up! Read on...

We told Jen and Graham we were pregnant on Tuesday via webcam and Skype. They started screaming and crying immediately - their reaction was priceless. Later in the conversation Graham asked me "Have you had any symptoms yet?" Jen interrupted and said, "It's Kelly, she's had them all!!!" It was hilarious and proves just how well Jen knows me. I am a known hypochondriac in my family. However, I have had bad luck with health in the past so I don't think the title is entirely deserved. Still, Jen was spot on this time. I have actually had all the stereotypical early pregnancy symptoms: morning sickness (for 2 weeks only thank goodness), major fatigue (falling asleep in malls is proof!), bloating, constipation, headaches, dizzy spells, swollen, painful breasts, horrible acne, cravings (beef, pickles, cherry ice cream, lemonade and green apples for the most part!), veins popping up all over my body like a road map, and more. Oh, and lots of cramping and weird twinges in my stomach in addition to low back pain - these symptoms are the worst because they can also be signs of miscarriage. Luckily, I have not had any bleeding or spotting whatsoever, even though it is normal for women to spot a little in pregnancy. I think that would really freak me out! It's been tough feeling so tired and under the weather especially when I have long days at work or exams at school. However, I am so happy to experience symptoms because I know it is affirmation that I am truly pregnant. I have to keep reminding myself that this is not a dream and I am actually going to hold CrockBaby in my arms in 6 months! It is so surreal to think about. Anyway, I have a full day at work again tomorrow so I'm off to bed for some much needed sleep. Love to you all.

You know you're pregnant when...

you fall asleep in the middle of a crowded mall. I went to a mall (translation for you Brits: shopping centre) in San Francisco after class today to buy some clothes because nothing is fitting properly. It's crazy how pregnant I look for 3 months. I have only put on two pounds but the doctor said it's mostly gas, air and water-retention. Anyway, I shopped for a couple hours because I was not willing to spend loads of money on clothes that I am going to grow out of soon anyway. I was interested in purchasing a pair of elastic waist maternity jeans that can grow with me but they are so expensive and a lot of them look too dowdy for my high fashion sense. I looked at jeans that are one or two sizes larger than the size I normally wear, but knew I would soon grow out of those too, plus the leg and bottom area looked too baggy. Finally, I had the brilliant idea to go to Wet Seal, a cheap teenage-clothing store, and purchase the "butt-crack" showing jeans that are so popular now. Why? Because they show off my legs but allow my tummy to hang over the top. Brilliant! They'll fit throughout the whole pregnancy and they were only $18 (about 11 pounds). I just have to be sure to wear longer tops over them so I don't look like a knocked-up adolescent fashion victim. I wonder if Wet Seal knows that their super-trendy slut jeans are now being worn by pregnant adults - they'd make a fortune if they marketed them in that way! Anyway, after purchasing these jeans in addition to 2 pairs of drawstring linen pants and a couple of long tank tops ("vests" to you Brits), I decided to sit down for awhile and rest. Next thing I knew, it was an hour later and I had drool collecting on my chin! Speaking of which, tomorrow is my long day at work (12 hours) so I am off to Dreamland.

Here is a picture of me in my new jeans and tank top with my little baby bump steadily growing...

FAQ's

Wow, CrockBaby has been up on the web for less than 48 hours and I have already been hit with numerous questions! For you newcomers, stop reading now and scroll all the way to the bottom of this site. The most recent postings appear at the top of the site. Work your way up before taking a bite of this FAQ section.

Just so people know, there is a comments portion to this blog. Just click underneath each posting where it says "0 Comments," "1 Comments," etc. Still, I suppose some of you were being discreet by emailing me since you may have thought the questions were personal. Nothing is personal - I started this blog to share this experience with our family and friends who are not in the Bay Area. I want everyone who wants to be involved to have the chance to be involved, regardless of whether they live in England, Switzerland, Australia or Mars. This child is going to be the most loved child in the world if I have anything to do with it! I am completely open about everything so here are answers to the 2 day old blog's FAQ's:

Why did you decide to have a baby now when you are working toward a nursing degree?

We decided to have a baby now because I am working toward a nursing degree. It was either now or in 4-5 years. I am currently finishing up my prerequisites for nursing school. I then need to attend a 2 year nursing program, followed by 2 full years of employment in order to take full advantage of hospital loan forgiveness programs. There is such a huge shortage of nurses in the US that most hospitals offer to pay off a substantial portion of your nursing school tuition/student loan if you work with them for approximately 2 years following your passing of the nurse exam. There would be no time to have a baby half way through nursing school or before starting employment. It was now or in 5 years and neither of us wanted to wait that long! We have seriously been thinking about kids since our nephew Rowan made his debut so were ecstatic that my career decision "forced" us into early parenthood.

When are you going to start nursing school?

I will finish my prerequisites by mid-August. I plan to apply for nursing school for Fall 2008 or Spring 2009. I will go to school full-time for 2 years and then become a nurse at age 30, almost the exact same age my mother was when she became a licensed nurse!

So you're going to be a stay-at-home mom for the next year?

Yes, although I hope to stay with my job (at an accounting firm) on a part-time basis. Their main office is relocating this summer and it will not be feasible for me to commute, with or without child. There has been discussion of me telecommuting and working out of the soon-to-be much smaller San Francisco office. If that works out, I will definitely continue to work approximately 20 hours a week through 2008. Regardless of what happens with my job, James will continue to gig and tour with Tempest in addition to teaching guitar lessons. He can be the stay-at-home parent for the second child when I am making the big nursing bucks.

How come you are just at the end of the first trimester and you have already had 3 ultrasounds? Does the US provide this for all pregnant women?

The latter is my favorite question. Ha, as if! The state of US healthcare plans are horrible! I am actually super lucky to have really great insurance through my job, even though I now only work part-time. Most pregnant women in the US get 1 ultrasound toward the end of their first trimester, 1 ultrasound at 20 weeks to determine the gender, and 1 ultrasound toward the end of pregnancy to determine the positioning of the baby (for delivery). However, if one has fertility issues or a history of miscarriage, most doctors will give you free run of the ultrasound machine (providing your health insurance cover the procedures as they are too expensive for most people to afford on their own). I had a blighted ovum last summer, which is officially a type of miscarriage. I think this is misleading though because the embryo was never there and I never miscarried anything. The gestational sac formed and my body thought I was pregnant. I had major pregnancy symptoms, all my blood and urine tests were positive and there was no reason to think I was not pregnant. We were so excited! We went in for our first ultrasound at 9.5 weeks and got kicked in the teeth. Miscarriage had never even crossed our minds because I felt so pregnant! However, the ultrasound showed an empty sac dating about 7 weeks in size. No embryo had ever formed. What a cruel trick for nature to play on two naive, extremely excited people! I had a Dilatation & Curettage procedure to clear everything out of my uterus because otherwise my body could have gone on thinking I was pregnant for weeks. It was physically painful, but more emotionally painful than anything. We felt very depressed for about a month and then we both realized that it just wasn't the right time for us. We actually decided to wait a few months before trying because I still felt torn up about it and just didn't feel like going for it again at that time. As it turns out, the timing now is so much better in terms of finances, my career plans, James' band's touring schedule, hopefully being able to visit the family in England at Christmas with a newborn, etc, etc, etc. Things do happen for a reason. Still, I wouldn't wish a miscarriage on anyone because it is truly one of the toughest things someone can go through. And you know what really bothers me? Miscarriages are incredibly common and yet no one talks about them! I refuse to keep mine a secret. It is a huge part of my past. Why shouldn't I talk about it? I feel like it is such a taboo to disclose that you have had one. It's how mental illness used to be brushed under the table in this country. I don't get it. More than 25% of confirmed pregnancies end in miscarriage. Most women who try to conceive experience at least one in their lifetime. 90% of women who miscarry will go on to have a perfectly uneventful second pregnancy. Miscarriages are nature's way of aborting embryos with chromosomal abnormalities. It's science! Ok, I'll stop ranting now. It just really infuriates me that there seems to be a "stigma" attached to miscarriage. If anyone has more questions about mine, I am more than happy to share! I will say this, having the miscarriage made me super paranoid throughout the first part of this pregnancy. During my last pregnancy, I ate quite healthy but that was pretty much it. This time I stopped dying my hair, have been eating all organic, avoiding artifical colors and additives, making sure I get enough calcium and protein each day, cooking with non-Teflon or Aluminum pans, avoiding make-up and any toiletries with chemicals that have proven to be carcinogenic is some studies, washing our clothes with organic detergent, stopped dry cleaning clothes, and more. Even after seeing a healthy heartbeat at 6w5d, I still jumped at every cramp, fearing the worst. It was only after my doctor told us this week that our chances of miscarrying at this point were much less than 1% that I finally felt like the pregnancy was real and that this was really going to happen for us. I now see that having my miscarriage was a good thing, not just in terms of timing, but because this pregnancy is all the more special and precious to us.

I think that's enough question answering now. I really need to crack on and do some schoolwork! I will leave you with a couple pictures of the people who truly inspired us to have children of our own...our nephews, Ro Ro and Joshy.

Due Date

I realized I had not even posted CrockBaby's estimated due date! It is October 19. Great for the baby (think of all the Halloween-themed birthday parties!), not so great for me. The Bay Area usually experiences an Indian Summer in September and October so I am going to be hot and bothered! Still, I suppose I can't complain (I always try though)...we are so excited! More blog fun to come tonight.

Baby's First Pictures!

We are proud to introduce...CrockBaby's first pictures!

CrockBaby 5w1d (only the gestational sac can be seen)

CrockBaby 6w5d (embryo is on bottom, yolk sac is above it) - heartbeat was 131 bpm

CrockBaby 10w6d (head is on the far right, legs are bent on the far left) - Fetus was moving like crazy! Dancing, kicking legs, waving arms, zipping from one side of sac to the other in less than 3 seconds - it was unbelievable! Doctor said that we have one very healthy, active baby!

Welcome!

Welcome to CrockBaby, a blog devoted to celebrating the life of the latest edition to the Crocker family (Oakland branch).

Coming soon: introduction to CrockBaby, ultrasound and tummy pictures, updates and more!

For now, please allow a couple pictures of the lucky parents-to-be tide you over...

Kelly & James on their wedding day - June 3, 2005

James & Kelly at a holiday event - December 2006