Dear Dorian,
Why won't you let your mother sleep? You are going to have 18 years to torture her and give her sleepless nights. Don't you know she needs her sleep now while she is trying to incubate you and give you the best possible start in life? Are you aware she has a Microbiology exam today and 2 long workdays ahead of her? Would you please get off her bladder?! She is very frustrated at having to pee no less than 8-10 times each night. When she finally gets to sleep (when her bladder is completely empty and she is so thirsty she dreams of beverages), you wake her up at 6am with your acrobats inside her. She has not had a good night's sleep in over a week. You won't even let her nap when she has the time. Please, will you lay off the sleepless nights until you're born? Your mother loves you very much and hopes you will comply.
Thank you for your assistance, Little Man.
Sincerely,
Your Landlord
Thursday, June 21, 2007
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2 comments:
Dear Dorian,
You can continue your midnight womb acrobatics if, and only if, you promise to sleep through the night once you are two months old.
Sincerely,
A recent graduate of the Sleep Deprived Mother Academy
(Kelly - this is a very fair exchange, trust me)
Em - this definitely sounds fair. On Thursday night I got about an hour's worth of sleep total! Luckily on Friday, I was so exhausted after no sleep and a full day at work that I came home at 8pm and fell asleep straight away. Dorian was very generous to my needs last night and only woke me up 3 times to use the bathroom. He also let me sleep until my alarm went off at 6:30am. BLISS. I feel really out of it today but at least the little guy let me sleep! Hopefully, this is a sign of a new trend.
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