Halfway

Well, this pregnancy is certainly a challenging one. I'm obviously not on bed rest, or throwing up all the time, or diabetic, or anything that would make it be officially classified as high-risk...but it's in a completely different league to my pregnancy with Dorian. I am just so tired all the time, even now after I have slept and relaxed for 5 days (the boys were away at a music festival). And I just can't sleep. Between my massive bump and waking up to pee every hour and at every little noise and having my back pain return with a vengeance and the occasional headaches and bouts of nausea (in the second trimester?!!!), I'm not the happy, glowing pregnant lady I had hoped to be again. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy enough, of course, but I just don't feel entirely well, you know what I mean? I think James is probably relieved because my pregnancy with Dorian was SO easy that I talked of becoming a surrogate mother someday...I absolutely adored being pregnant! Not so much now. Still, it's a good thing. I take every experience I can and try to file it away permanently in my brain so I can empathize with my patients even more. If there is one thing I absolutely love, it's being able to relate to my patients and feel like I'm the best possible nurse I can be...well, this pregnancy is surely helping me in that regard.

I am 19 weeks pregnant now and we have our 20 week ultrasound on Wednesday, September 14th. We can't wait to check out baby's anatomy...or more importantly (as my mom keeps reminding me), the sex. It seems to be this is all anyone is interested in these days. "Do you know the sex? When do you find out the sex? Is it a girl or a boy? What do you think it is?" We get hit with all these questions before anyone asks me how I feel, or how Dorian is reacting to the pregnancy, or anything else. It's all about the sex. I guess that's true in most aspects of life. Oh wait, that's the other sex. ;) I feel the same, to be honest. I just want to know what the baby's name is (we have a girl name picked out but no boy name yet), what to tell Dorian, etc. It's going to be easier and seem more real when we can stop calling the baby "it" and start calling it "her." (I'm still 99% convinced it's a girl.) I know SO many people who are pregnant right now and we are all due within 6 weeks of each other and so far, it's all girls. When Dorian was born, it was all boys. My new moms' group was all baby boys. Our Gymboree play group was all baby boys. I do believe this to be a real phenomenon and not just some crazy coincidence...although I have no idea why, and James will totally be rolling his eyes when he reads this.

Dorian asks about the baby all the time and he'll say things like "Does the baby like that sandwich, mama?" or "The baby is making me go pee pee!" (because I always say this). He talks, often, about how he is going to feed the baby and how he wants the baby to sleep in the bottom bunk bed in his room. He asks constant questions about the baby, and has started talking to the baby. He definitely seems to have made a connection already...and that alone makes all this "suffering" worth it!