Little Girl?

I dreamed I had a little girl last night. Coupled with my hunch, and the fact this pregnancy has been like night and day from my pregnancy with Dorian, I wonder. I also had a dream Dorian was a boy before we found out the sex. Is it too early to start buying striped woolen tights in jewel tones, sundresses (in non-pink colors), baby bohemian tops, and leather mary janes with flowers sewn on? As previously mentioned, I really do not mind either way, but it would be so fun to shop for a girl. By the way, I swear I'm not as shallow as I've been sounding in my past few posts. There's nothing wrong with a woman liking fashion, as long as she has other interests too, right? Or maybe I am that shallow. Oh well, I'll embrace it.

12 Week Bump Comparison

12 weeks pregnant with Dorian

12 weeks pregnant with Crockbaby #2

12 Week Belly Bump

This picture is over a week old...I am now 13.5 weeks and my belly is even larger now...I know I keep talking about it, but I truly cannot get over how much sooner you show with baby #2. I'm kind of scared for my 30+ week belly bump!!! Is this child going to be a 10 pounder? (Luckily, I have friends who keep assuring me their bumps popped out fast in the early days but their weight gain and growth slowed down by mid-pregnancy - and their weight gain and bumps at the end weren't any greater than with their first. Fingers crossed. I think 7lb11oz is about the maximum sized baby I can pop out naturally!)

Superficial Post Alert!

It was my 31st birthday on Sunday and I splurged on a pair of J Brand maternity jeans and oh my god, they are so worth it!!!! I highly recommend them for any expecting mamas who are also into feeling good about themselves. I've never splurged on high-end jeans before but was not digging any of the maternity jeans I tried on (and ended up skipping jeans completely while pregnant with Dorian, for the same reason). Most of the jeans look either frumpy, too big on my short frame or just downright fit really funny. So I went on my trusty internet, did research on which jeans would fit my style preferences and work throughout the entire pregnancy and postpartum (very important to me if I was going to splurge), and found hundreds of raving reviews for J Brand Skinny Maternity Jeans. I received them in the mail yesterday. I now finally get what the hype is all about, and may end up splurging on high-end jeans in the future. There is definitely something to be said for quality over bargain. (Especially if you wear them all the time, as I tend to do with jeans anyway.) This is one splurge I will not regret.

Day of Energy

Well, I did it! The first real productive day I've had in 2+ months! I woke at 8:30am after a crazy busy night at work, went for a run (could only handle 3 miles, versus the 6 I used to run regularly, but still!), relaxed with a late birthday mani-pedi, made lunch for my family, took Dorian to Fairyland, went to the car wash, did the grocery shopping, made dinner for Dorian and I, bathed him, put him to bed and I'm still awake with some energy to spare! What an awesome day. Now, it's time for ice cream and Coronation Street with James. I feel like I'm finally starting to glow.

First Trimester Completed

Thank god. I am finally getting a teeny bit of energy back now that I'm officially in the 2nd trimester...phew! I'm going to attempt my first jog/long walk in weeks this morning. I am hoping to get back into the swing of things soon. I miss exercise, meeting up with friends, having the energy to do things with my kid, and not spending my entire life sleeping, eating and working! Man, is the 1st trimester challenging! I had it easy with Dorian so this was a huge shock to me. I feel grateful I wasn't throwing up or nauseated the entire time, but this exhaustion (plus dizziness and headaches) was surreal. If I hadn't known I was pregnant, I would have thought my body was shutting down. I got a great night's sleep last night (only got up to pee twice!) and feel like I'm finally able to attempt exercise again. Wish me luck.

Ultrasound

Our third (and clearest) ultrasound of Crockbaby #2. She (???) is about 13 weeks old. Everything looks great and my estimated due date has been changed to January 31, 2012. My mom says she looks just like Dorian...and James' dad says she has his nose. Regardless, she's pretty cute, in my (completely unbiased) opinion.

Are you sure there's not a twin in there?!

The bump is massive for 3 months pregnant. I'm wondering if there is a hidden fetus or two...then again, it could just be the fact I never regained my abdominal muscles after Dorian and I've been too exhausted to do any exercise. Plus, oh my goodness, you pop SO much quicker with #2. I swear, I already looked pregnant by 6 weeks (I know a lot of it was bloat, but still). I'm really missing my runs and long walks. I feel my muscles wasting away and being taken over by fat (and okay, with so much sodium in my diet right now, water retention). I adore being pregnant and think pregnant bellies are gorgeous, but I do want to maintain a certain level of fitness and muscle tone while pregnant, as I did with Dorian. I feel so much better in general when I'm running regularly too. I've just been so tired. Any free time I get, I sleep. I'm really hoping I can start my jogs again soon - 2nd trimester energy burst, where are you? I promise I will post bump pics really soon.

Cravings

I want pickles, salt & vinegar chips dipped in balsamic vinegar, and added salt on everything. With Dorian, I craved beef. All the time. Beef. We went to Barney's at least once a week so I could get all organic, grass-fed, added hormone and antibiotic free hamburgers. This time, I just want salt, salt, and more salt! My blood pressure is usually really low and it's been even lower during pregnancy. I'm sure the salt cravings are my body's way of trying to compensate. Pregnancy is so interesting. I love how it affects the body.

Now where are my pickles?

Baby's first cold (in a manner of speaking)

Things I hate today: weak pregnancy immune systems, colds (caught from germy preschoolers), coughing so hard your diaphragm feels it might split, mucus that refuses to budge from the back of your throat, lack of sleep due to coughing all night, nonstop preschooler temper tantrums, leaky kitchen sinks, finally hot sunshine outside and not being able to enjoy it.

Things I love today: Peach sorbet, fantasies about cough syrup with codeine (I can almost taste it!), knowing my baby is well-protected inside my expanding uterus and that I am already protecting it from harm, glimmers of maturity in my son (he *tries* to stop the temper tantrums - he just can't yet), father landlords who get on the leak right away, the weather forecast for the rest of the week, knowing that this, too, will pass.

We're back with big news!

Crockbaby #2 is now 12 weeks old with an estimated due date of February 3. I thought long and hard about whether or not I should keep a pregnancy/baby blog for this child and came to the conclusion of “How could I not?” This kid will already have second child syndrome; I can’t make it worse by not having one of those cool printed books of blogs and pictures from his/her first couple years of life the way we did for Dorian. So, after a long hiatus (Facebook replaced blogging for awhile there), here we go again! I must say, I’m quite happy to have an excuse (and the pressure) to get back into it. I loved blogging...and I'm proud we have all those memories recorded forever on the internet and in print.

This pregnancy feels so different from my first. At times, we forget I’m pregnant which NEVER happened with Dorian. I guess having another child to focus on does that to you. We also don’t have that urge to google every symptom and every week’s developmental stages and what not. We know what to expect already. I also know a lot from nursing school and being an RN in Women & Infants. We haven’t even pulled out a pregnancy/baby book this time.

I feel so much more exhausted with this one. It’s insane. I feel more tired than when I had mononucleosis and had to pull out of college for a month in 1999. This is sheer exhaustion like I’ve never felt except when James was away on tour and I was nursing Dorian 24/7 and he did not sleep for more than an hour at a time. And then, I didn’t feel jet-lagged from nausea, headaches and severe dizziness on top of it. Or have to go to work. And of course, that sleepless baby is now a 3 year old who still isn't a great sleeper. I’ve pretty much been sleeping all the time when I’m not with Dori or at work. My parents took Dorian to a music festival for 3 days a few weeks ago and I spent the entire time sleeping and eating (pickles, salt & vinegar crisps and cherry jolly ranchers, what else?) I also have crazy acne this time. Still, I'm starting to feel better now...and of course, it's a small price to pay for having a healthy baby. I absolutely LOVED being pregnant with Dorian (and had an easy pregnancy and birth) so obviously, I'm hoping it will be the same this time around.

I’m convinced we’re having a girl because of the differences between this pregnancy and our last one. Yes, I know that every pregnancy is different and the sex really doesn't factor into the symptoms a mom experiences. It's fun to guess though. Dorian originally said he wanted “a brother and a sister.” Now he says “it’s a sister.” We will see. Neither James nor I have any preference. We really wanted a little boy the first time…or at least, I did. (James wanted a son at some point.) I can see pros and cons to having a boy or girl. A little brother would be great for Dorian to play with (in theory) and we know what to expect with little boys. We have all the clothes and toys. Plus, little boys LOVE their mommies. Then again, it would be awesome to have a girl since it would be new for us, and then we’d have one of each "kind of child." And what feminine mother doesn’t dream of dressing up her little girl in cute clothes? (Please no pink or lace though; gag me.) We will find out the sex at our 20 week ultrasound in 2 months.

Speaking of which, we’ve had 2 ultrasounds already and our 3rd next week. Modern technology is amazing. Our baby looks healthy and happy. Just like us.

Things Dorian Says...

August 4-12, 2010

*We got a glimpse into Dori's mind one morning this week. He was whining like crazy, shouting "no," you know, the usual toddler business. I pointed my finger at him and said, "Dorian, it is not okay to talk to Mama and Daddy like this." He responded, "This is like a game." Cheeky!!!!!

*Dorian started preschool this week. On his third day, I was going to take him for my first time. Over breakfast, I asked him if I could stay for circle time, or if I should just drop him off. He responded, "Just go, Mama, I'm a big boy now."

*We woke up one morning and Dorian said to me, "How about we let Daddy sleep? Let's close the door." Then, when James was awake, Dorian said, "Where's Daddy's coffee?" as I was making coffee for myself. Those boys are thick as thieves.

*Two hours into the Monterey Celtic Festival last weekend (James' band was playing), Dorian said, "I don't like this festival. It's boring and I'm cold," so he and I spent the rest of the day at our Salinas motel. All throughout the day, Dorian said, "I want to go home now," repeatedly and sullenly. He totally dissed his Scottish roots (and acted like a teen). Dorian and I headed back to Oakland a day early. What a wasted trip...I guess this was payback for all the trips my brother and I tried to ruin for my parents. Karma, eh?

*Yesterday, Dorian was looking at one of my bras and said, "Look, there's Mama's pretty boobie bra! Where's Dori's big boy bra?"

*Dorian said, "Look at my penis!" I said, "Yes, there's your penis. Does Mama have a penis?" Dorian responded, "No, Mama has a tail!"

Oh no...

He's definitely got my genes. He does this all the time (Mom says I used to as well). I am an extreme Type A/perfectionist/over-achiever in case you didn't know. I am so sorry, Dorian!!!!!Please note that not only are the vehicles perfectly lined up, but he sorted them by type and size.

Smile

No one can accuse us of not raising a happy child...

Sleep

Remember all our sleep posts? We're still not sleeping here. He was doing a lot better, but regresses constantly. He really does have great weeks where he will sleep 12 hours a night! But there always seems to be regression after regression after regression and then a huge battle/challenge to get him back to sleeping through the night. (I know some regressions are normal, obviously, with growing bodies and constant changes - but this kid DEFINITELY has more regressions than any other child I know.) We are exhausted. I seriously think I might die today. But enough of the moaning. Sorry. I'm happy really, just so #$&*@#% tired.*

I just don't understand how at almost-3, he still doesn't sleep. I don't nurse him anymore. He's potty-trained. No medical issues. He sleeps in his room now. We have double curtains up on the windows. But he's back to waking crazy early!!!! And doesn't nap. Ever. So he gets these cranky spells in the afternoon, sometimes so horrendous that he'll throw temper tantrums on the floor of stores (ask my poor, poor dad!) And he ends up going to bed at 6pm most nights. He wakes at 5am (or earlier) regardless, so he MUST go to bed early so he can at least get 11 hours of sleep. Some nights he wakes during the night several times, usually the nights when James is on tour - lucky me.

We've tried everything, short of shipping him off to a specialized sleep camp (they must exist, surely?)...this kid just refuses to be a sleeper. I am so tired, so very, very tired. I can't wait to get a job. It's easier to be tired and go to work during the day, than to be tired and stay home with the very "thing" that makes you so tired, you know what I mean? Particularly when there are temper-tantrums involved.

I can't believe my kid is almost-3 and still doesn't sleep. This is the best birth control ever, I swear.

*Note: He is still the most perfect child to ever exist. Sleep is his only issue. But boy, does it seem to cloud everything some days!!!

Things Dorian Says...

July 27-August 3, 2010

*While at the park, Dorian looked at graffiti on the toilet wall and said, "Look! Letters. It says 'go pee-pee now.'"

*Kelly got him all set up on the couch with cereal and "Caillou," then he asked for fruit. Kelly replied, "I need to get in the shower, as soon as I get out, I'll bring you some fruit." When Kelly got out of the shower and came back into the living room, Dorian threw up his arms and said, "Where's the fruit already?!"

*Kelly gave Dorian a sticker & said, "What is it?" Dorian said, "You figure it out, Mama."

*Dorian to James, "You have to go big poopoo too, Daddy?"

*Kelly answered the phone and said, "Hey." Dorian, in the other room, obviously thinking she was talking to him, shouted, "What's up?"

We're back!!!

Hello!!!!!! It has been a long time - almost 6 months - but I am determined to start blogging again...this blog has so many beautiful memories written, imaged (is that a word?), and shared. And Dorian is just so gosh darn cute...I'd hate to feel I didn't record some of his most "precious moments" somewhere. Sorry for the long hiatus. Nursing school was really challenging at times, but we did it and I graduated with high honors. :) For now, we are taking the summer to reconnect, relax, and yes, search for jobs. I am still determined to find a nursing position in Women & Infants (labor & delivery, postpartum, NICU, antepartum or wellbaby nursery) in the Bay Area. It is still a really horrible job market for new grads in the Bay Area, but we are hoping it will change by mid-fall. Otherwise, we will start having to look outside of the area in earnest. James is still playing lead guitar with Tempest - in fact, they are currently gigging in Washington at the moment. Dorian starts preschool next week! Life is changing around here, but we're all still happy, healthy and smart (we think). I will write in more depth really soon, but for now, I'll leave you with a few pictures...

The Family

Dorian

Daddy and Dori, reunited after the Tempest spring tour

Mama and Dori Love

James, enjoying the California summer

Kelly, relaxed at last

Hiatus

If you hadn't noticed, we are taking a break from blogging right now. I would love to keep it up but life has gotten crazy with my accelerated nursing program, and James is juggling his time between Dori-care and the band. We are not stopping the blog, simply taking a break. I will try to post again within a month or so. In the meantime, if you are not already my Facebook friend, PLEASE befriend me (if I know you, I'll befriend you back). Leave a comment to this post if you're interested and I'll send you an email with my info. We post pictures of Dorian and updates all the time on Facebook. See you soon and enjoy these next few months!

Yosemite Trip

Dorian, James and I stayed at the Evergreen Lodge in Yosemite, California for 4 days in mid-December. What an amazing time we had in the snow! We highly recommend the Evergreen Lodge for people with children - you get to rent your own cabin on a beautiful property with 75 cabins, outdoor play and seating areas, and hundreds of evergreen trees sprawled around. They have a recreational room with games and a toddler play center, a movie room, a lounge with computers and free internet access and a full-bar and restaurant. We had every intention of going into Yosemite Park but never made it. We were having too much fun at the lodge! There's always next year...I think this may become a new family tradition.